Getting Close To Someone?

[Klmisc]

I have found someone after a great many years of bad choices in relationships. I still question him, who he is, where he came from and why he would want to even bother with me. But, on the same token, I have never met anyone who understood me better and knew from the get-go what to do when I had a panic attack. I was so ashamed and he showed such gentleness. It's proven to me that I am capable of love... be cautious, but don't run away from it.

 

[Nighthawk]

I choose to be alone. To keep my issues at bay would not be fair on me and really would not be fair to another. But I truley feel I am not worthy of a mate. Why on earth would another love me?????

NH:notworthy:

 

[AngelaMarie]

(((NH)))
You are encouraging me and feeling down on yourself. Another (((hug))).

 

[AngelaMarie]

I learned this lesson the hard way by picking the wrong types of people and not going slow enough when I first met them

That is so me!! I would rush in to a relationship before I even knew the person. Now it's time for me to do for myself, my children, and then maybe I will find real love someday!

 

[OKRADLAK]

Night Hawk---I liked your post not because I believe you are unlovable!! But because I feel EXACTLY how you put it. I hope we are both wrong.

I know I am not. THis whole thing just blew up in my face. I wish I could go back and never have met this person.:(

 

[Nighthawk]

Night Hawk---I liked your post not because I believe you are unlovable!! But because I feel EXACTLY how you put it. I hope we are both wrong.

I know I am not. THis whole thing just blew up in my face. I wish I could go back and never have met this person.:(

Sorry you know how it feels.

Sending a hand

NH

 

[Heather]

Okradlak - I do the exact same thing. The last guy I was interested in I ran the whole thing off into the ditch before anything really had a chance to even develop. I just couldn't handle any of it -- talking about complete and total lunatic behavior!

He missed 1 phone call and I behaved like a psycho and ofcourse he never wanted to talk to me after that. I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

What I couldn't get over was the intensity of the emotions that I was having. It was pretty unsettling.

So, I definitely know how you feel about getting close -- soooo very hard! Eeeek! Aaaackkk! Iicckk!

 

[OKRADLAK]

What I couldn't get over was the intensity of the emotions that I was having. It was pretty unsettling!

EXACTLY!! I was pretty good at only looking like a total high school googly eye freak! HA. Just always smiling At him. I did good in not getting too gushy. I sent him a few emails and told him he was really exciting, but that was it.

BUT MY EMOTIONS!!!!!! OMG! I did not sleep for 5 days straight. Manic. It was my own private hell. Now I never want to see him again.

 

[Heather]

. It was my own private hell. .

You had the good sense to keep YOURS private! I went public with mine!!

 

[Tinyflame]

Usually I end up trying to get away from who I've started dating, they're not patient, rarely kind, and usually end up demanding.
Makes being single not altogether that bad, actually, lol.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Heather, your words are always so powerful and energetic! I bet they were just too boring to be around. It wasn't you! It was their loss and their problem!!!!

 

[reallydown]

I can see a lot of similarities to my own situtation in many of these posts...I have trouble getting close to people...it's that lack of trust and the instinct for self-preservation...It's hard to leave yourself vulnerable. I recently also ran from something (that probably could've been good) before it had a chance to really develop. It was also out of concern that I'd hurt the other as well as myself...I figured it'd be unfair to the other person...So yeah, I pretty much made sure I acted like an idiot...Anyway...not sure that's helpful but just wanted to say there ar emore of us in a somewhat similar boat...