FauxLiz
Diamond Member
I am struggling lately and today is one of my more difficult days. I am waiting to hear from my employer regarding a separation agreement (found out this morning won't know anything until next week). Waiting to find out if I am eligible for readmission to River Oaks and when that would be is taking its toll on me.
On the one hand it would seem logical in my current state of mind to consider taking myself somewhere "safe" On the other hand my car is in the shop, my son is due back from a school trip tomorrow and will need picked up. So instead of doing what I am sure most here and my care team would advise I am isolating at home, eating everything in sight even when I am not hungry, considering ordering pizza simply because the restaurant also delivers beer and wine (so I wouldn't need to go out and buy it). I want to stop, to just stop thinking, feeling, worrying, guessing what is going on. My son has state finals for his indoor drum line this weekend senior year so I really want to be there but I also don't know how I can survive being around all those people.
I see my t tomorrow and well to say that things have been rocky between us the last several weeks would be an understatement. I can't miss that appointment as t needs to finish going over paperwork to extend my disability as things are dragging their feet with work so I can't afford for it to expire/not be renewed for additional time. The thing is I keep thinking for all that is going on, is it really worth going on? Hence the reason to be somewhere safer than alone at home.
On the one hand it would seem logical in my current state of mind to consider taking myself somewhere "safe" On the other hand my car is in the shop, my son is due back from a school trip tomorrow and will need picked up. So instead of doing what I am sure most here and my care team would advise I am isolating at home, eating everything in sight even when I am not hungry, considering ordering pizza simply because the restaurant also delivers beer and wine (so I wouldn't need to go out and buy it). I want to stop, to just stop thinking, feeling, worrying, guessing what is going on. My son has state finals for his indoor drum line this weekend senior year so I really want to be there but I also don't know how I can survive being around all those people.
I see my t tomorrow and well to say that things have been rocky between us the last several weeks would be an understatement. I can't miss that appointment as t needs to finish going over paperwork to extend my disability as things are dragging their feet with work so I can't afford for it to expire/not be renewed for additional time. The thing is I keep thinking for all that is going on, is it really worth going on? Hence the reason to be somewhere safer than alone at home.