Getting mixed messages from everyone

[joeylittle]

I don't know where to find another therapist that would be good for me

Have you looked for DBT programs? Have you googled trauma therapists in your area?

That's great you called insurance. Now, if they already know you go to therapy, what's wrong with going to different therapy?

 

[Iyllsa]

They don't know I go to therapy, not that it matters. I found this therapist and pay out of pocket through a resource that makes it affordable for me.

 

[DharmaGirl]

My friend and I became close not through our health

I should have been more specific. We were friends from nursing school and worked together for 6 years. In the 6th year we became really close friends and she started trying to be in charge of my health. Not that it matters. After I told her that I was in charge of my mental health, over and over, she went away.

 

[Deleted member 41318]

I should have been more specific. We were friends from nursing school and worked together for 6 year...

Seems that is a big difference. Not only did she know you but, though rare, she might see some difference in you without understanding (not having experienced how an ordeal may affect you. Nor the toll it has taken to build back some self confidence to get over. Perhaps part of your process was to cut off people who remind you in an unproductive manner.
Also, you had/have a direction in life before your trauma. Adding the history of the relationship and of having a direction is very important. People with cognitive and developmental problems from trauma struggle with identity and not ever experience the grasp of owning or being grounded in their own life.
If I recall, this is what Illysa was referring to.......in a more succinct expression.

 

[Iyllsa]

Seems that is a big difference. Not only did she know you but, though rare, she might see some dif...

I think you're right.. I grew up only knowing my abusers and such.. I've only recently really started to see the world and I struggle daily to figure out the differences between what I grew up being told and learned versus what the world may actually be like.. And my friend is the one that introduced me to "the world."

 

[talon]

For those that have seen my past posts then you would understand.

Basically it was concluded by people...

it's good to talk but that depends on who you are talking to. Some people are good listeners and are understanding. The so called experts aren't always right. If it feels right for you then it probably is . Good luck

 

[DharmaGirl]

Also, you had/have a direction in life before your trauma.

I sorry, I don't understand what you are saying. My trauma was from before I had enough words to talk. There was no life before trauma. I was friends with her for 6 years before we became even closer friends and she tried to take over my life. I don't understand what this has to do with what you said.

 

[Deleted member 41318]

I sorry, I don't understand what you are saying. My trauma was from before I had enough words to tal...

I did think of Illysa's post and yours while writing, and felt I just might lean in the wrong direction on some ideas. We don't exist in a vacuum...if read out of a child welfare folder or an amazing memory, or don't like talking about it. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't expect each history has commonalities.
I have difficulty with my presumption that we are all emotionally hijacked: "from trauma struggle with identity and not ever experience the grasp of owning or being grounded in their own life." Which, that said, I'm glad is not a shared symptom, but one which I identify heavily.
While on topic, however slim the chances, a counselor with the highest education completed. I was extremely lucky in that regard.
Having been silent for over 40 years, since I didn't benefit from any secrecy, but felt compelled to, from offices that failed me at the time (except nurses). I've quit speaking of the events since I've all the info I'm going to wring out of those times. I did mention the OP's share was a better read.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding the way you write. When you quoted me, I assumed you were referring to what I had said, and inferred that my trauma was new. I was just pointing out to the OP, that my relationship was not based on health only. I do share the symptom of not being grounded, as well as many others here, you are not alone in that.

The next part, about the counselor with the highest education completed, does that mean You are one, or you had one? I'm having trouble following your sentence structure. But really, I am going off topic and don't want to hijack the thread so I'll just let it be.