LOL yep - been there, done that! Nothing better than the sound of take off to make you feel better about the train wreck that is life.May we know the reason why..? It might help us to see things from differrent perspective and not take it personally..
Ah i see.LOL yep - been there, done that! Nothing better than the sound of take off to make you feel better about the train wreck that is life.
For me it's all about escaping from emotions. I get overwhelmed and my only response is flight. I think the hardest part for supporters is that there is no reasoning behind it - it's a totally automatic process. Even I can't tell you why I run - I just do. The panic sets in, everyone is a danger and POOF! I'm gone.
Hubby and I didn't know I had ptsd for many, many years. We just knew that I randomly bailed so we had to come up with ground rules that made us both happy (or less unhappy.) Things like I have to call once a day to tell him I'm safe, give him an idea of where I am, agree to come home within a specific amount of time, blah blah. And he's not allowed to dump a bunch of guilt on me for taking off, or get all emotional and tell me to come back or try to make me promise not to do it again or blah blah blah.
One thing to think about is that I was like that when hubby and I first met and he had to adapt if we were going to stay together because it was my baseline coping skill. There was no way I could change it, even if I wanted to. It was going to take YEARS of therapy before I could start to learn new ones. Even now it's still my go to, but I can usually hit the pause button before it gets bad. Hubby has gotten to where he sees the warning signs before I do - usually involving me making plans for a one way trip or to sell the house or learning a foreign language or some such nonsense. I even have dates marked on the calendar for my "scheduled run away" when I know things are going to go to hell
And ya - it sucks for both of us. But - this is life with ptsd. This is how we many of us live, right on the edge. It doesn't take much to shove us over into panic mode and we disappear. Because it's just easier that way.
Sure I knew she had trauma and CPTSD but she wouldn't ever speak about it. She would make comments rarely if I did something that she didn't like " I don't want our kids to grow up that way. " And to be fair to her we did have a few talks about me getting frustrated and in hindsight I ABSOLUTELY should've taken those comments much more seriously, But if she is unable to effectively communicate " You scare and trigger me when you do X, Y, Z " until we literally break up, I don't think I should shoulder that burden.
Lol… No worries! I figured it was something like that.
May we know the reason why..? It might help us to see things from differrent perspective and not take it personally..
Cha. I don’t do “trapped” well.For me it's all about escaping from emotions.
You should be! You handled this whole thing well, all while not being totally sure of what was going on. Just coming here to ask questions showed an amazing commitment to understanding what went wrong. I'm sad for you, but also pretty impressed.I don't mind saying that I'm proud of myself.
Thank you Freida, that makes me feel really good. I did my best, and I know he did too. A piece of me will always love her. Maybe a lot of pieces. But as cliche as it is, I shouldn't want someone who doesn't want me. Maybe all this space is best for us, right now.One of my proudest moments in therapy is when I dismantled my GoBag. I had everything in there that I would need for a new life, from cash to resumes to clothes. Taking it apart was extremely hard, but it also showed that running didn't have to mean starting over
You should be! You handled this whole thing well, all while not being totally sure of what was going on. Just coming here to ask questions showed an amazing commitment to understanding what went wrong. I'm sad for you, but also pretty impressed.