Relationship Girlfriend Of An Ex Combat Marine

[Mona Love]

Hello, my name is Mona. My boyfriend of about a year was in the marine corps. He went to Iraq and Afghanistan. He suffered through a few traumas and I believe it has made him who he is today. He has a hard time showing emotion and affection and I'm not sure why. I'm not sure how to handle it also.. he can sometimes be really hurtful in the things he says and he thinks it's being funny or joking around. I love him so much, and I know he loves me but sometimes struggles to show it. I cry sometimes because he can be very unemotional and he hurts my feelings. I continue to stay strong and love him for who he's is because I like to believe its unconditional. Sometimes he will love me and sometimes it just seems like he doesn't really want anything to do with me. It feels like I have to play games to get his attention, or take my space. I like to be affectionate and I hate games. any advice will help

 

[Netsy]

Hello, my name is Mona. My boyfriend of about a year was in the marine corps. He went to Iraq and Afg...

Hi Mona - you are on a good site, as many people here can give you all types of advise. My advise is remember who YOU ARE... dont ever feel you are failing him at all. You can only do the best you can. People who have been to war, live the experience every day.... you will never understand unless you have been there. So be strong with you and who you are. Dont ever let him disrespect you. If he is hurting you, then you must tell him, because he wont know. Just remember who you are please. thats my advise.

 

[holdenmonty]

He suffered through a few traumas and I believe it has made him who he is today. He has a hard time showing emotion and affection and I'm not sure why.

So I have heard the saying that they train us to go to war but they don't train us to come home. War is hell and there isn't much use for emotion in war so we subconsciously turn it off. And depending on his trauma can be really hard to turn it back on and keep it on. I still struggle with showing emotion sometimes.

he can sometimes be really hurtful in the things he says and he thinks it's being funny or joking around

For the hurtful things he says and thinks that he's being funny or joking around. I don't know about other countries but in the US the military is a culture all on it's own and can be a bit rough sometimes with joking around. We dish it out and expect to get it back.

Sometimes he will love me and sometimes it just seems like he doesn't really want anything to do with me

This kind of goes back to the first thing about turning off emotions while in war and after we come back it can be tougher to turn them back on and keep them on.