Hi Callie! My name is Tiffany and I just signed up for this site today. I'm not sure I really have any advice because I came here looking to understand PTSD better as well. My husband spend 13 months overseas and has been back for almost a year now. While the FRG explained a lot about PTSD before they came home, I don't believe anyone can prepare you for dealing with/helping a loved one with PTSD. I didn't even acknowledge any of the signs my husband had been showing because I think I was too afraid to deal with it. In turn, for the last 6 months we've just been cohabitating. A few weeks ago I went to check my e-mail and discovered that an unknown e-mail address had been signed in on my computer. Of course, I clicked on the inbox and found out that this e-mail account belonged to my husband and he has been going on dating websites and chatting with women all over the world, including Russia! I was devasted and when he came home and realized that I had found it I told him I wanted a divorce. What really killed me is that he had no reaction or emotions about anything! I would up leaving the next morning and stayed with my Aunt and Uncle. While I was there, they showed me a lot of things that I wasn't seeing. I didn't realize that my husband had been asking for help for months and I was just ignoring it or telling him he was fine. A few weeks later, we're doing alright. We're taking it one day at a time and agreed that if I was to come home he was going to get help. I've been home for 2 weeks and while he has called to make an appointment he hasn't gone to fill out the paperwork to get his first appointment. It's a slow process and sometimes they have to go when they are ready. Before I came home I told my husband that I love him, I know he loves me, but we both need to get help. I told him that we can only take it one day at a time but that no matter what I would always be there for him and wanted to be by his side throughout the whole process. It wasn't until then, when I gave up trying to control what was going to happen did he start to take initivative on his own. He has done research and found contact information for people he can talk to as well as start to realize how his actions affect the people around him, especially me. Some days are harder than others still but everyday we're moving forward. Your boyfriend probably feels the same way my husband feels. My husband told me, "I want to get help, I know I need help, but I have to find a way to get help to where I won't get kicked out of the Army." He said that he is proud of what he has done and wants to make the Army a career. For now, maybe all you can do it try to understand where your boyfriend is coming from and just tell him that you love him. Give him a chance to make the decision to get help, his decision, because if it's not, he won't put all the work into the process of getting better. I hope he comes around soon, and for your sake, keep posting on here. I'm sure it's a big help! Good luck!
Tiffany
