Glad I Found This

[willis williams]

Nate, Thankyou for your input I based my pisstivity on defending Anthony and Jimmy and forgot to thank everyone. Besides that, except for spouses and carers every one of us PTSD sufferers are fake from time to time we must try to write in a way we feel helpful, or tell stories from the past in a way that seems heartfelt. But in the wrong mood our heart is really not in to it. So we fake it till our head and heart is back in the game. Don't get me wrong the words are meant and logical our psyci just ain't there. If we could do everything to social norm standards then we wouldn't have to worry about PTSD. I am not saying we are liers we just end up doing a lot of self sacrifising even when we are down we say or do things that we may not want to address ourselfs but as fellow PTSD sufferers we can some what empethise with each other. Spouses and carers get plenty of attention because we like them and we feel bad for them because most of use have put one or more of them through hell our selfs. Hell I fake emotions with my with my children I know I love them but a lot of other feelings are not there. I even fake intamacy with my fiance to make her happy. I do it to keep an equalibrium in my life. So if there is a little faking in this forum oh well I really haven't seen it yet. I would like to THANK everyone that partisapates even Paul because he gave me something else to think about beside the mundain PTSD topic. We also need more funnies even cares/spouses and they don't need to be about PTSD because even normal folks do silly things. IT helps brake up the serius topics and I love to read the when I cant sleep because the serius one keep me wound up. Thanks again to everyone especialy cares/spouses I don't know how you do it because I know I'm an ASS. I don't know how my Seren does it.

 

[Jimmy1]

Well Tex, Nate,
This is what the site is all about. If we feel safe enough to share our trauma's, then we can. Otherwise if we are having a bad day, we can vent. Or if our spouses have a certain way of handling us, they can share.
I was also thinking, which I do a lot, and it hurts, when I joined this site, I was hurting too. I was frustrated and did not know where to turn.
Anthony used to answer most things in paragraph form and all technical like, and to be honest it was a bit overwhelming at first. Maybe he was telling me things I did not want to hear, or refused to believe.

As for faking it. On one of the other sister forums, there is a whole thread on faking PTSD. I actually stated that I used to fake that I did not have PTSD. Try to pretend that I was a normal person rather than thinking I wanted to punch everyone around me.
I used to also deny it to my old Army buddies. They used to ask what I am doing and why I am out. I used to tell them f*cked head, f*cked back, etc. I didn't usually say 'f*cked Head', because I was ashamed. I did not want to be a pussy and give in.

Now my new girlfriend has made me see things in a different light. She says its ok for me to stay in bed for the day when I don't want to face the world. She says its ok for me to be angry and want to hide from the world.
She has accepted me for me and has accepted my disorder. I think any partner who stands by their veteran should receive a medal.

But when it comes down to it, why would anyone want to fake PTSD???

Going off track, sorry for waffling.

Jimmy

 

[willis williams]

I wish I was faking it. It would be easier I could just move and never talk to the people I faked out. Then I could sleep not ruin relationships, be super rich, stay out of jail for stupid stuff, and hold a job to support my family the longest so far 2yrs 7 months. Nice dream! started valum again so I slept good last night. Valum & trazodone. Bad thing is I woke up with PTSD and a lot more energy to be an ass . I stopped in the middle of this post to rip off a childs head because he decided to disrespect his mother multiple times while she was asking him to quit almost went to far caught myself. It would also be neat to have the intalect to fake PTSD because psyciatrist have not even sorted it out yet. Probably because we who have PTSD aren't the best at sharing or explaining. Jimmy no offense but I want your girlfriend Mate. You lucky bastard! TEX

 

[brad p]

I wrote a "book". My internet logged out as I hit send. To summarize:
1. Paul, you're fake. Don't you ever judge someone from internet postings. You weren't there, so shut your f*cking mouth.
2. I'm pretty sure that I've met people like you. They lower others to make themselves feel important. Let me get down at your feet because something bad happened to you.....f*ck Off.

 

[Nate1]

Brad,
As for your #2 statement I would like to know who you are refering too? all of us or just Paul?

Nate

 

[brad p]

Just Paul...........trying to breathe.

 

[willis williams]

I hope I get my name in a book even if It is bad like (Tex is an ass). It will be my ten seconds of fame.
Hope everyone is having a good day today I am going to have a day to myself sad thing is I get anxiety when my little boy is not with me. The doc says its cause of what I seen in somolia. Don't understand it sometimes don't want to even tuch him when I am in a fit but if he is out of my sight i go crazy. I am going to try to enjoy the peice and quiet today. TEX

 

[BV101]

Maybe I should take my size 47 (european size) Yugoslav army boot, gaiters attached and embed them firmly up someones arse? We can then have a frank and formal debate about whether its fake or not...
And if there is going to be a book I want to be in it as well. And I want to be a paratrooper in it, or maybe a ghurka...
And be good at football. And I want a page of how I rescued a puppy or something.
Kapow!

 

[willis williams]

Alan, love your post. I didn't think abou my caractor. I also want to be a paratrooper. receive Audy murphy's metal and make it home only shot in the ass. But I still want to get the girl that loves the after math of the war and realy diggs PTSD. I miss jumping out of planes/choppers so maybe I could live vicariously through my caractor. Oh I also want to be black ops. TEX

 

[BV101]

haha! You see, we all have something, but Black ops? My ass! ;) The so the weirdest (and i probably shouldn't say it) is that I used to sing i think we're alone now, by tiffany, over and over when i was really scared. Not loud, just to myself. If its made into a film, i want that as the soundtrack. Oh how wrong is that!

 

[anthony]

What do you mean Paul????

What he means is that he is a troll, and now had a filter applied to his account. You will get lots of morons, kids, etc, who scour the web and post onto things just to provoke a reaction, arguments, etc. Discouraged user now... which means their viewing and interacting experience here will be just as provoking to them.

 

[BV101]

ok so where does that leave the book then my little aussie chum? Tex was all blacked up for some bourne supremecy action! Me, i was just hoping to watch Steph from neighbours do an oil change on my car...