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Goal For The Day

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I didn't know where to start today with dealing with my trauma, so I went into my trauma diary and took a few entries that I will print and take to my therapy session next week.

Went to the community kitchen today and helped out and will go back on Monday to cook for the volunteer staff.
 
Wrote down 5 traumas today. I have been avoiding this all week. It felt good to have the courage to do it. I am prepared to deal with this even though I know it isn't going to be easy all the time. Two plus decades of suppressed emotions are coming to the surface.
 
Today I filed all of my mail/receipts/bills into a file folder, tidied my kitchen, put away the laundry and swept my apartment. It was a simple day because therapy is really demanding right now so I have to make sure that I am not using activities as a way to run away from my traumas.

I was about to write down another 4 traumas today. When I write them down I write as many as I feel I can handle then I stop. Instead of playing hero and pretending that I know the answer I have been more honest about how my trauma makes me feel. Getting these things out is challenging after twenty years of being locked away in storage.
 
Spent time with one of best buds, took my leather jacket for reparations, and wrote to my best cousin about some important things.

I was annoyed today that people would pass by a man in those carts used nowadays and they wouldnt open the door for him. So I did. Funny, I had the feeling he was a vet. Long conversation about his experience in the vietnam war, effects of war, and mobs/mafia.
 
Goal is to try and relax for the rest of the night. Tomorrow I'm attending my first therapy session with a therapist from CASA (Centre Against Sexual Assault). Am nervous about it. Not sure what to expect, not sure I have the energy to talk about things from my past that upset and trigger me. Must relax tonight, else I'll be a wreck tomorrow before I even get to therapy!!
 
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