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Goal of The Day-Challenging Your PTSD

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My goal for the day would be: re-connect with reality. I have a very, very hard time doing that, I tend to give in to the hallucinations and battle them, instead of taking a deep, deep breath and refocus on reality.

My goal for the month would be to study at least a bit and find a new apartment.

My goal for the year would be to be closer to friends and start a new level of friendship with them, where they can confide in me and I can confide in them.
 
Updates... I did manage, for the most part, to relax yesterday. That was good. As a Mom, there are always things to do, but there was a long patch during the day when I put my feet up and didn't do too much. Good job! :tup: I also managed to eat lunch, finally, around 3:45pm, LOL! I don't know why... but I was starving when we were grocery shopping later in the evening and when I was fixing dinner. It put me in a mood, but I managed to stay mostly okay and I joked around instead of getting too pissed or melting down. Good for me! :joyful:

My goals for today? :cautious: Hmmm...

I need to work on not pushing too hard. I'm planning on going to the gym, but I think I've been pushing myself too hard with exercise and running around this week. It's okay to go... I just need to keep things reasonable. :wideeyed: (Me, saying I'm going to be reasonable? Wow! Unheard of. LOL!)

The plan is to go out tonight. I want to just go out and have fun without worrying excessively or trying to control things or worrying about how I'm coming off or stressing out about ridiculous things, LOL! That's a tall order. :confused:

I think this is enough. Overall, I still need to try to rest and relax and maybe meditate whenever I can during the day, even if only for 5 minutes. Lots of breaks, since after about, hmmm, let's think... maybe 40 years of racing around, I need to put myself first and have fun and relax and pamper myself. I need to take a turn, after taking care of everyone else and dealing with so much on my own for so long. I am trying... it just doesn't come easily. :wacky:
 
Updates... I'm still doing okay at not pushing too hard... but I'm really toeing that line, going right to the edge. I need to just calm down a little bit more. I went to the gym on Friday and on Saturday, I'm so proud of myself! Exercise really helps me to stay calm. I'm deliberately relaxing and vege-ing out all day Sunday... I could use the break. We did go out on Friday night, for a bonus date night, which was really fun. I got a little pouty when dinner and being out was over too quickly, but then my husband and I came home and watched a show we had been saving on the DVR, and it all turned out well. I'm getting better at balancing my moods and staying calm and not using every trick in the book to get my way. I could have done better on Friday night about not worrying or controlling things too much... but I was aware that I was starting to do those things, and I kinda backed down and tried to express my feelings instead of kinda manipulating things to get my way... it was HUGE progress, I think. Trying to be normal is so hard, though!

I have been spending time doing things just for me. It's been nice but weird. It's getting easier, though, and when I doubt I deserve it, my husband has been right there telling me how much I *do* deserve nice things and good times and doing things just for me... and that's really helped. I keep reminding myself that after 20 years in my abusive childhood home and then years in a bad romantic relationship and being a single Mom, and then all the stress of having a special needs daughter who almost died and needing to be there for her 24/7 for the last 15 years... well, things are finally starting to calm down (knock on wood) and I can go off-duty for awhile. So... my goals are to keep doing things for myself, to believe I deserve good things, even when I feel like I don't, and to try to relax and enjoy myself. To give myself a break when I'm not dealing too well with my PTSD symptoms, and to remind myself that they are just symptoms, and I don't have to let them control my every thought and my every action.
 
Doing well on my goals... I'm just going to stick with the ones I mentioned last time. I did really well today just relaxing and recharging. I had a little tiny meltdown late morning... but I blame that on PMS. I hate PMS! Like I don't have enough to worry about with PTSD... here comes PMS to screw things up more! But I'm trying to be nice to myself and understanding... PMS happens. It's not a big deal.
 
My goals are to just keep doing what I'm doing. Take care of myself. Spoil myself. Be understanding towards myself. Keep doing things like getting out of the house and getting exercise daily, even when it's really hard, even if for only 5 minutes. Take breaks. Sit and meditate or listen to music or make tea and enjoy drinking it. There's no crisis happening, I don't need to be on red alert. I don't need to keep moving every second of every day. It IS okay to relax. I also want to work on my to do list without obsessing about doing EVERYTHING. Just take one thing at a time and be content with what gets done. There's always tomorrow.
 
My goals are to get through today without freaking out and falling over the edge. My goal is start therapy tomorrow and work through all this crap.

To control my anger and not let the dragon come out and breathe fire on all that surrounds me.
 
What are my goals for the day? :cautious:

This is ridiculous, but here they are...

To leave my bedroom. :unsure:

To go outside. :meh:

To go to the movies. :confused:

To contradict all my crazy, irrational, cPTSD thinking. All day. I won't let PTSD win! :mad:

This is so FRUSTRATING! :sour: Just yesterday I was feeling good, despite nightmares and flashbacks and melting down at 4:00am. For the 11 days before that I was doing great. Today nothing has changed! My life is just as good now as it was a few days ago. And yet, here I am, thinking I'm horrible, I'm bad, I'm worthless, I ruin everything, I'm a failure, I shouldn't be around other people! I know it's all irrational PTSD thinking, and I am STILL having trouble remembering this is all stuff from the past! I am safe now. I am a good person. I am okay. GAH!
 
Yesterday I did manage to work through my feelings, get ready and leave my bedroom, go outside, go shopping, go to the movies and in general rescue the day from a PTSD-induced depressive funk. Yay for me! Watch as I stick my arm straight in front of me, turn my hand palm up, and then go ahead and pat myself on the back. :joyful: Yesterday wasn't a perfect day, but it worked out okay despite middle of the night drama... nightmares, crying and flashbacks.

Alas, there were more nightmares, crying and flashbacks last night... but I'm still hanging in there, trying to stay positive, hopeful and determined. Gotta get up and make some lunch now. Leaving my room is always a big thing... a trigger... but I'm not gonna let that stop me. :x3:

Today my goals are to leave my room, make lunch, rest and relax (all these nightmares and flashbacks are taking it outta me... I don't want to do what I always do... which is to just push through and keep going while I ignore how I'm actually feeling), run to Target later, make dinner and vege out on my own tonight (Wednesday night is the one night each week I have some time to myself). Wish me luck! :tup:
 
My goal of the day is to not let myself get overwhelmed with the past. I'm going through old photos and it is causing issues within me. It shouldn't be this hard. Also, to let my sister, who wants copies of the photos, to know it is a process and it will take time.
 
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