Relationship Gods Promise

[Seeking]

When I first posted on this site just a week or so ago I was just a wreck. My vet was isolating (still is) and I thought it was me and I didn't understand at all. Because I pray constantly and am a very spiritual woman, I belive God lead me here. I needed to be heard, needed someone to understand. As I read the various post, I see, I am not alone. It was like God said "take a chill pill, it's not you!" I have also been lead to get help for me and encourage others to pray, trust God and have faith. Prior to me dating my vet, I prayed that God bring me my husband and was specific in my prayers. When my vet and I began dating I knew he was the one. Maybe 2 months ago I asked him what God has told him about me and he said "God told him I was a good woman for him! " I, when we first started dating would pray that God prepared me to be his wife and that he prepared him to be my husband. There was something that God put in me 3 years ago that encourages me to stay the course, remember his promise and keep the faith. Today I had to share with you that I am currently being prepared to walk this thing out with a man that changed my life. The prayers of the righteous availeth much.

 

[Muted]

Thank you for the encouraging words.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

There was something that God put in me ... that encourages me to stay the course, remember his promise and keep the faith. Today I had to share with you that I am currently being prepared to walk this thing out with a man that changed my life. The prayers of the righteous availeth much.

I so come alongside you in this exact thing! My husband and I both KNOW that God brought us together. Other people (my family especially, right now) may disagree, but God gives us confident peace and the GRACE to keep walking together! Because we cling to His good promises.

Thank you for sharing!!
~WU

 

[Seeking]

Knowing I trust God in all things certainly gives a peace thar only he can give. At first when this isolation thing happened, I was devistated, I am human. However, each time I'd reach out to my vet to let him know that I'm praying, he'd say THANK YOU! I know what I prayed for my life and for us. Alone, I, we are defeated. With God, PTSD has lost !

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

Catching up on some of your posts from other threads, @Seeking ... *HUGS* if you accept.

My DH and I have gone through a few different isolations over the years. We're learning better about what his (and my, honestly) triggers are, how best to navigate when life ushers things we can't otherwise manage, etc. I don't know your whole story, but if you've already determined (as it seems you have) that your husband is WORTH it .. It is WORTH it to weather the storms together.

Much grace to you!
~WU

 

[Seeking]

Thank you @WhisperingUnicorn! It's challeging. We've know each other for over 15 years but started dating 3.5 years ago. It was great at first. He was very open at first but when he retired about 2 years ago, I noticed changes. He just struggled and now he buries himself in work. He's not a JROTC instructor. It's like he just has to be associated with the military in someway. He's on prozac but is ashamed and had explained how he is numb. I just hate it for him, for us. Although were not married, I pray one day we will be. We just seemed to fit at one time. But I'm holding on and keeping the faith.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

My husband and I just got married this past year - and he's now talking he wants to divorce my WHOLE family, and me along with it so they have to carry the guilty of ruining our marriage, and live with the shame of their daughter (me) "living in sin" with him the rest of our lives. OY VEY. He and I were "friends only" for the first 7 or so years. And we transitioned from friends to romance about 3 1/2 years ago.

Yah, PTSD is a tricky thing, to be sure. I don't know where we're gonna land on all our stuff, or what we CALL ourselves, but we know we're committed to each other "till death do us part" .. So I have had to relinquish all the normal "romance" expectations .. though now I kinda think a whole lotta other "romances" would survive life BETTER if they did they same!! ;)

~WU

 

[Seeking]

@WhisperingUnicorn this is only for you and your husband to understand. You owe no one an explanation. I'm sorry about what you're going through. At least you both are committed to each other. My vet has not made peace with the fact that he has issues PTSD. He's ashamed and won't share with me, only pushes me away. I finally get why (as crazy) as that sounds. He #1, doesn't want to hurt me, #2, he can't handle additional stress and to a degree a relationship rather good or bad is stress because it's work. I'm just in a holding pattern, holding on. All I know is he's only saying a few words to me. "I love you, I miss you, and thank you when I share that I'm praying and that I'm "riding for him" :) that's our little inside thing. Lol But with the knowledge that I've gained, I'll take it. My man is struggling and our prayers ( yours for certain because a wife's prayers covers her husband ). I'm praying as a woman, loving a man , hoping to be his wife, praying for my friend that God heals his mind, body and soul. Be encouraged, you two have a game plan that God tailored made for you both.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

Thank you for the encouragement ;) Yah, we have several "inside things" ourselves - ONE thing that seems MOST to bless my husband is when he can be confident that I have my own stuff handled. He is afraid of "clicking out" and causing me distress as if he's abandoning me to all the hard stuff as well as worrying about him, and the more I can come across to him as STABLE, and hold my own, the more relaxed he is that I'm a "safe" place for him, and he can stress less about being in love with me because he is finally coming to believe he won't be the cause of my downfall .. at least that's how he puts it.

He has only in the past few months or so (after 10 years with each other), let me stay WITH him through a meltdown (ie, he didn't isolate though he was VERY tempted) .. in particular he was SO afraid of letting me "see behind the curtain" with how he deals with his issues (all of his "parts" talking out loud, so he was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle the shock of seeing everything inside vocalizing all at once) .. even though we've been through most of this before, he was so afraid I would think less of him, or think he's crazy, etc.

Instead, I was able to sit with him through the vocalizing, stay calm while he was storming, so to speak, and he ended up being able to come back to himself WAY faster than usual (hours instead of days) as a result, and we ended up praying together IN DEPTH at the end of it all. I think it comforted him that I so clearly do NOT think he's "crazy" .. I think his neurology is his own worst enemy sometimes, and we have to walk through how to get from fight/flight response back to his rational brain to take back the job of thinking his way to a solution, it's just the "geography" of moving his mind from one part of the brain to another, really .. and prayer seriously helps with that, too!

But just as with any other "injury" or accommodation (like a husband in a wheelchair for example), you have to KNOW going in what the "cost" is going to be, and you have to decide if this person is worth it to your own health, heart, mind, etc. In our case, my husband is my BELOVED, and I PRAISE him whenever I can - I want to "pull out the gold" cuz I BELIEVE in him, and with good reason - and when there's a snag we treat it like any other "sick day" - Like, he has had an episode and is so exhausted, he needs to sleep for a couple days to get his strength back. To the extent we've "normalized" that healing process, and built solutions into how we manage our day to day, HE is healthier and more himself and better able to MINIMIZE the hard times by managing well ..

Anyway, before I ramble too much - THANK YOU for the thoughts!

~WU

 

[leelee]

God is Good in every way.