Going For A Biopsy Today: Feeling Very Anxious

[ms spock]

Biopsy results tomorrow. My ability to manage the emotions around this has improved 100%. There is just no comparison to how I didn't manage that well last year. Really have done pretty well.

This time last year I was on the couch, completely dissociated and derealised and depersonalised.

The use of the in the emotions is somewhat of a Freudian Slip.

 

[KP the nut]

@Ms Spock bless you.

 

[Abstract]

You sound soooo much better than last year Ms Spock.

 

[ms spock]

So hopefully when I go tomorrow I will get the results. My GP will be away but the results should be in his pending folder.

Then I have to wait until Friday to get the breath test for the chest/esophagus. I am hoping for relief there. I really am. They think I have some type of infection in my stomach.

I am having real problems with the medication.

A little bit scared today. Didn't want to go home.

 

[ms spock]

You know the responses here in this thread and in my diary really mean so much. I do appreciate the time, effort and care.

I know that we shouldn't rely on this place so much. But I do and today I learned about internal triggers and I can see a whole lot more area where I am going wrong and I can improve on.

I am lucky to have a long distance relationship, friends, company and acquaintances and people I bump into along the way.

I am lucky to have this place as well.

 

[Bedbug]

Sending you love and best wishes.

 

[Madhather]

Holding good thoughts and sending lots of positive energy your way...I hope today brings you good news.

 

[ms spock]

Must go and get the results soon.

 

[ms spock]

So off to the medical centre to get the results, and be open to the fact as my GP is not there I might not get them today. The results are in his pending folder. He told me that the other GPs would be able to get the results. But as I have the technology and it fails me often. I am not having a high expectation of the situation today. If I go and I don't get the results I can manage until he comes back on Thursday. I won't be happy about it but I am also not going to freak out about it.

So I will prepare to get ready shortly.

I have done a lot of meditation today. It took me a long time to wake up today. But I burnt the candle at both ends over the last three days. And I have done a fair bit of interneting today. I have been thinking things through. My psychiatrist will be impressed. She often suggests that instead of reacting I think things through logically. She wants me to use my creative brain. She wants me to think about stuff in a lateral problem solving way or otherwise don't think about it.

 

[ms spock]

Report not in but verbal confirmation that there are not any malignancies.

 

[ms spock]

I feel so much emotion. I feel so much emotion. I didn't realise it would be like this.

I am going out to help my belly dancing teacher so I will be back later on.

 

[ms spock]

Really feeling the panic know. I don't know why.