Going to court : What to expect from juries, judges, & barristers?

[FMCA]

I am worried about going to court because a man violently raped me. he’s a complete narcissist. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so entitled, indignant , controlling etc. completely self inflated ego and people believe the false persona he puts out there.

How do jury’s and judges handle people like this? He manipulates people on social media who go along with his stupid statements because his presentation is so forceful they mistake it as confidence so become his cheerleaders..

Will a barrister cross examine him enough so that he will expose his personality to a jury?

 

[Movingforward10]

Well done for getting this far and it going to court. That's no easy thing to get to that stage.

Will people see through his lies?
Hard to know.
I suppose it depends how well the barrister cross examines, and whether it makes his rage come out, or it exposed his lies enough.

What is also important is all the evidence against him. To get this far, there must be quite a bit of evidence to show what he did to you?

Wishing you luck with it. And I hope he gets convicted.

 

[Friday]

Expect the worst from juries; as a person can admit -on the stand, in open court- that they’re guilty, and still be found not guilty by a jury. Juries are wildcards that pretty much everyone (except jury consultants) hate. Judges, lawyers/barristers/solicitors/court reporters/bailiffs/etc.

Expect to be attacked, belittled, insulted, sneered at, condescended to, accused, tricked, your words twisted, and worse from the other side’s lawyers/barristers; from your own, it depends on how good they are at their job.

Expect nothing from judges, as judges are there for the law, not for the people who have broken the law or who have been victimized. Are there wildcard judges? Who side heavily with either side? Of course. But theyre rare-ish, as they’re basically the ref at a football match… hated by everyone, deferred to by everyone, occasionally responsible for a game/match loss/win, but it’s more the players (barristers/layers) and plays (motions, strategies, etc.) that decide the game/match. Not the person there who is in charge of making sure the rules are followed. Neither you, nor your rapist, are players in this game. You’re the ball. So are they. Both of you identical. Yep. First assume EVERYONE there thinks equally of you, as a violent rapist. Cheers to that? Ffs. Brutal as hell, at the best of times.

In a nutshell? Court is a shit show.

Even if you win? Expect to want to kill yourself, after. So take steps to lessen how bad it’s going to hurt, even if you win. And losing is even worse. Don’t expect to feel good. Expect to want to rip your own spine out through your chest.

 

[FMCA]

I don’t think it’s worth pursuing. I ended up having a breakdown and was taken to hospital by police because of it. So it’s all documented by police and by medical professionals but I’d rather he didn’t know what happened after it and get off with it too. I’d prefer him to think it didn’t bother me and I’m over it now.

Trial by jury for such a horrendous thing shouldn’t be allowed. I was thinking this yesterday when I had previously told a woman in her 50’s about it without saying any of the details. She said “ I would never have done that” when I said I’d gone round to his house and that “ all men are pigs anyway” oh and asked me if I was working and to go and get a job. I even said to her that this person is a drug dealer and who he is presenting to the world is not who he is. I thought well if a 50 odd year old woman is placing the blame at my door then there is a good chance someone like that could be on a jury!

 

[Movingforward10]

I don’t think it’s worth pursuing. I ended up having a breakdown and was taken to hospital by police because of it. So it’s all documented by police and by medical professionals but I’d rather he didn’t know what happened after it and get off with it too. I’d prefer him to think it didn’t bother me and I’m over it now.

Trial by jury for such a horrendous thing shouldn’t be allowed. I was thinking this yesterday when I had previously told a woman in her 50’s about it without saying any of the details. She said “ I would never have done that” when I said I’d gone round to his house and that “ all men are pigs anyway” oh and asked me if I was working and to go and get a job. I even said to her that this person is a drug dealer and who he is presenting to the world is not who he is. I thought well if a 50 odd year old woman is placing the blame at my door then there is a good chance someone like that could be on a jury!

I totally agree with you. Trial by jury just means bringing in all that societal bias and victim blaming. But trial by judge is also not much better, given the demographics of most of those judges.

It's a failing system in terms of getting justice for rape survivors.

I'm sorry that you had a mental health decline because of this.
I hope that you get a sense of justice somewhere , somehow.

I got no words of positivity to say really because the situation is terrible. But can say: I understand.

 

[FMCA]

@Movingforward10 , Thankyou. I think it’s just time to leave it and try to accept it happened. This year hasn’t been a wash out because I’ve made improvements in areas of my life I wouldn’t have otherwise. In another 3 weeks it will be a whole year since it happened and as horrendous as it was, the determination to move on with parts of my life has worked to some extent.

the animal that did it has to live with what he’s done and how is he going to get his shit together? His life will never get better, it will get worse and that’s enough for me. He hasn’t got a hope in hell!

 

[LuckiLee]

My bestie was raped years ago. I talked her into calling the authorities. As it turned out he was on parole for the same thing when he assaulted my friend. We went to the pre-trial and the judge said her (my friend) recollection of the event was evidence enough. (Same M.O. as his previous convictions) The judge found him guilty and prior to the sentencing he was found dead in his cell. "He fell out of bed and had a heart attack". We figured someone delivered prison justice.

My friend was so brave. He wasn't more than 10 feet from her in court. We made a plan that she would only look at me while she testified. It worked. I was and still am amazed by her strength.

What has your council said about what to expect?

Sending strength and support your way.

 

[FMCA]

No, I don't think I even want to ask. I know for a fact hes got a clean DBS because of his job hes never been convicted of anything even though i'm pretty sure I cant have been the first because to do something like that you'd have to have been very bad in the first place. As far as I'm concerned I hope he stays in his destructive spiral of addiction and what he did to me weighs heavily on him and his chances of recovery are zero.

I know that might sound nasty, but people do drugs and don't hurt people, not like that anyway.

The attack was about entitlement, power,control and dominance. His mother should be ashamed of herself.

I make plans to add to my life as the months pass to achieve something, no matter how small. He will always be a worthless, weak little cry baby.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I was thinking this yesterday when I had previously told a woman in her 50’s about it without saying any of the details. She said “ I would never have done that”

They always say that shit. Maybe not literally always, but way the hell too often

Everybody thinks they wouldn't let it happen to them, that they wouldn't get in that situation in the first place, that they would fight back, or that their fighting back would have any effect. They think all of that, until they get raped.

Some of them think because they'd obviously never get raped and Really Bad Things can't happen to them and don't just happen to completely random people, that it must be our fault somehow.

I feel like they aren't prepared to know that this could easily happen to them, no matter who they are, and because of that, they try to protect their own fears by being an asshole and blaming the victim

Anyway though, my advice for court stuff:

Do not feel like you're obligated to go through with it. I felt bad that I wasn't getting him put behind bars because it's only a matter of time till he does it to someone else, but really it isn't my fault and isn't my responsibility. And oh holy f*ck is it one huge undertaking.

There is no shame in not taking it to court. I only got a restraining order, myself, and backed out of trying to get him hit with actual charges. I just wasn't ready to handle all that. I just wanted it all to be over and to never see him again, to not be in fear of him appearing before me again.

He moved a very far way away, after which I felt a lot safer, but I still didn't want to drag all this back up, relive it all over and over, go through all the hassle, and still have the potential for it to be all for nothing

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to just leave it all in the past, and to distance yourself from it all to feel more safe

If you do take it to court, make sure you have solid and regular therapy and probably a psychiatrist or something along those lines too. It will get rough as f*ck

That said, it would have been nice to have seen the asshole get locked away for the rest of his life for what he did (his crimes if found guilty would have landed him in there for the rest of his life). But, it's over, and as far as I am concerned he may as well not exist because he's no longer anywhere near my life and that's more than enough to keep me satisfied
 
I don't regret not going to court with it

I hope that helps

 

[FMCA]

@Sweetleaf , Thankyou. I feel the same. It’s over with. He’s still hanging around in a crime watch page pretending to be a pillar of the community. Little does he know the police have all his details and pictures of what I realised was advertising drugs on his fb page. I keep track of his behaviour on there sometimes and it looks like he’s got far too much to say for himself nowadays, attention seeking being judgemental and people are laughing at him for it. His arrogant behavior probably comes from any self worth he did have completely disintegrating. Also his family will know exactly what he’s like and won’t believe his lies. Slow demise of a brutal rapist who deserves everything he gets