Going To The Dentist Later This Week- So Nervous

[TeaLeaf]

I have a lot of dental problems related to having bulimia as a teenager and I have a cavity to get filled soon. I'm very nervous for a lot of reasons. My dentist is very nice and all but is a man, my trauma was caused by a man and I also had a bad experience with a male doctor as a child. I really like the office though and the hygienists are all nice and skilled plus they have heated neck pillows which helps me calm down.

I know I don't have to have a male dentist but at the same time I just want to get this over with and think about whether I need to switch to a female dentist in the near future. I also have a lot of trouble with change and I think going to a new office will be anxiety provoking too and then what if I don't like the new dentist?

I read some of the old threads on going to the dentist and am going to tell him I have a lot of anxiety related to dental procedure even though I have been going there for some time. Before I just disassociated but I don't do that as much anymore since I am much more connected to my body.

In addition to telling them about my anxiety, I'm going to ask for an extra heated neck pillow to put on my belly, it helps me calm down. I am thinking about bringing my teddy bear with me, just to have in my bag. I don't know that I would feel comfortable pulling it out of my bag as I worry that people would laugh at me.

Any other suggestions or advice people have would be helpful. Thanks!

 

[Hashi]

Hi TeaLeaf,

I sympathise! Could you listen to music through headphones? I do this, and can still hear if someone says something to me - the staff speak a bit louder if addressing me, and quieter if not, so if the talking is quiet I know I can tune it out. Alternatively maybe you could ask for them to play some particular music in the room. For me it can't be what I'd usually listen to because it has to be guaranteed all soothing so I have a playlist of classical music (Mozart, Pachelbel, Albinoni) that I know is relaxing.

Good luck, I hope it goes well and is soon behind you.

 

[digger]

Can relate to this TeaLeaf, I have similar problems with dentists. I think it's absolutely fine to let them know that you are anxious and to request whatever you feel will help, so asking for an extra pillow would be fine. Making sure that the dental nurse assisting is female at least? Perhaps taking something with you to hold in your hands during the procedure and practise grounding/relaxation exercises with it beforehand at home so that you associate with feeling more calm?

I think going to a new office will be anxiety provoking too

I think you're right not to try and change dentist when you actually need work done, but it might be something to look at afterwards so you can build up a relationship with a female dentist before you might need any future work doing.

Hope it goes well

 

[rightkindofme]

It sounds like you are going to handle it the way I handle it. I told my dentist early on that I had major issues around visiting the dentist and a lot of anxiety. I told him this would be a process and he would just have to be patient with me.

Luckily he is. I hope your procedure goes smoothly.

 

[euca]

I have so much sympathy, I don't tolerate the dentist at all well and I'm long overdue for a check. It seems to be a common issue for trauma sufferers. I guess there are so many reasons why the dentist can cause stress or trigger. In a way you would think that dentists were better trained for this because it really does seem so common amoung survivors. I hope it goes well for you.

 

[TeaLeaf]

My dentist appointment went ok, I got an extra heated pillow and let them know about my anxiety and they seemed to understand. Thanks everyone for the support!

 

[Britt.f7]

Tealeaf, glad you made it through. I hate going to dentists due to a really bad experience, and several since that one. I'm always nervous. I think it really helps to be honest with them. How they have taken my honesty in the past has helped me determine who to see and who not to. Still, even though I trust my dentist immensely, I am still nervous about making an appointment.

Those pillows sound wonderful!