Golfers Unite !!!!

[Deleted member 20280]

Well it's that time of the week again and Mr Laurie is having a funny five minutes.

So here are a few more of his silly jokes. Please feel free to add any "Golfing" jokes to this thread.

There was a woman on the course one day taking her first golfing lesson.

Her instructor was getting really frustrated as she could not get her swing right !

So, he told her " Hold the Club like you would your partners PENIS!

So she did, swung...... and missed! yet again

Her instructor then said to her......... !

"Now hold it with your hands please :wtf:

Lol

................................................................

A man was on the golf course but his memory was so bad he couldn't remember which hole he was meant to be on.

A woman approached him nd asked him ?

" What seems to be the matter sir??"

"I have mild amnesia and cant remember which hole I am on !!"

"You are on the fourth hole mate" she replied "You are one hole behind me......."

So he carried on with his game of golf and again a short while he forgot again which hole he was on !

So he approached the woman again and asked her which hole he was on !

"You are on the 14th hole" she replied, "You are still one hole behind me!

When the got to the club house he offered to buy her a drink which she graciously accepted.

The man then asked the lady what she did for a job ?

"I am a Tampon Saleswoman" she replied blushing........

The man then replied !

"Well I am a Toilet Paper Salesman so I am still one hole behind you "

:roflmao:

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Four Methodist ministers were on the Golf Course when Father Patrick retorted,

"f*ck, bloody missed again! "

To which his fellow ministers told him that God would smite him down for swearing!!

Again on the next hole he retorted again

"f*ck it, bloody missed again!! "

His fellow ministers again chastised Father Patrick "The Lord will strike you down Father Patrick"

When they arrived at the 18th hole Father Patrick stood up to the Pin and readied his swing!.

All of a Sudden a Lightning Bolt from the Heavens struck the Tee just feet from Father Patrick !!

A booming voice from the heavens shouted !!!!

"f*ck it, bloody missed again!!!!!.


:)

 

[Ellabella44]

Golf is just a walk in the park ruined by a small white ball.

and what sane person would want to play something that is floG spelled backwards?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Mr Laurie
I remember reading the last one a few days ago :)