Got The Job - Need Support

[Anarchy]

Hi Bloomy
what does "patient support" require you to do?

Just so I can get a picture of what the mind numbingly boring bits are:hug:
@

 

[NatBird]

@Bloomy I'm late to this but CONGRATULATIONS :)

 

[Bloomy]

Well @Anarchy Ive always said that no matter what this type of social work for disabled peope is not my cup of tea. Its well know do that its easy to get this type of work even without to much skill. And thats why Ive applied to get a foot in to work life again.

When I say patient I mean - Im supposed to work with one guy that is severly handicapped. That means Im to stay in his apartment and....be patient. Cause he can not be alone it means some one needs to stay with him. He doesnt have any real language or functon. I try to do some daily chores like cleaning his apartment and such to make the time go. To just sit with him and have a "conversation" makes me crazy. He repeat things over and over and over and over and over. And I also have to repeat my answers over and over and over and over. I admire people who got the patience for this. Personally It makes me ko -ko. And in addition he doesnt have control over his body functions and need to use diapers. Which means inbetween I get a really dirty and smelly job t clean him up. I know its sort of meaningful job, but for me it doesnt make any sense. I just see my life fly by doing nothing. Yesterday I even cleaned the walls and closet to make time go. It gives me severe anxiety.

The critic I got was that I had slipped in my patient and talked with him in a non constructive ways. Also that he can get very loud if one doesnt control / help to regulate his behaviour. So Ive done this in a not good way cause I got tired of all the time repeating "home voice" and instead told him to shhh. Whcih Im not supposed to.

It feels in some way Im there to entertain or to be a social companion.

 

[Anarchy]

I'm going to think on this, while I run into town to get some things
with you later in the day
@

 

[Bloomy]

thanks for support @Anarchy :hug:

I really have to do this. Its hard to get job here now so this is a chanse wether I like or not :(

 

[The Albatross]

Very sorry to read Bloomy but perceptually there was value in what you were doing to and for the person. I wish you could have stayed with it a bit longer and tried to normalize the experience and challenge the "feelings" rather than questing for a "job you can do". Sure, we all want easier and less difficulty... but in the longer term I know I trend/have trended to sell my self short, had more financial difficulties, and been generally less satisfied with the work unless I can search a bit and deem it "noble"... then get/use the tools to manage the emotional stuff. Just something to think about?

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. My bottom line is always financial necessity... I will endeavor to adjust to dang near anything to get that need met... so I'm kinda weird that way. In the end, to me... the financial necessity often outweighs what I feel about whatever I'm doing... and it comes down to managing then. Sort of a simple formula for self preservation, but there you have it.

 

[Bloomy]

@The Albatross - I am thinking about this. Besides bitching and complaining I mean. It seems the reason why I was so tired of all now was that I was on verge of becoming sick so my tolerance was at an all time low.
But yes to what you are writing. Its what Im trying to do. Normalize and stabilize and confront my self with my ill behaviour and poor attittude. And this is exactly why Im in need of support. I know my self how bad I can be and I dearly need support like this to change. Tools to manage emotional stuff indeed, but this I also need input from other human beings. Ive been on my own all to long and I always seem to fail my self.

Think its good for me that I got sick and I cant do anything exept to stay home and re capture all that has happend lately and how I deal with it. As said - I know I got real issues with bad mind set and I sincerely need to adress this.

I am the captain of my ship. I can either let the ship go down in the storm or I can learn to sail it so that at some point Ill be able to find a safe shore where I can settle.

 

[Mytime]

Hi bloomy, I hope your feeling better. I can understand where your coming from. I was once a support worker as well. Have you thought of reading?
Reading to the client about different things. That way your learning new things as well. If he asks the same questions over and over, can you challenge yourself to give a different answer? Bring something new in to show him. It can be something simple as coloured rocks. If he doesn't have much of a reaction to things, maybe make that your goal, to get a reaction. He may or may not be able to reach it, but your at least stimulating your own mind. Or just talk to him about stuff you like, show him pictures. I don't know if this helps at all:)

 

[The Albatross]

Good solid post Bloomy.... having ADD/ADHD myself, just being present and learning how to have a quiet calm and sometimes periods of stillness was hard for me. It is an acquired skill that comes with practice. I actually enjoy moments of companionate solitude and quiet at times with the clients I'd had and nurtured them through foods or extra care or diligence... no one ever appreciated these little things (little to me) more and I realized that even though I'm not necessarily a Little Miss Sunshine or Perky Polly... I'm "real"/genuine, I'm diligent... and every single person I've ever cared for has accepted me just the way I am... and their families. Wow what an experience.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Bloomy, I'm sorry I'm so late to the party! I don't know how I missed this thread. First, congratulations on getting the job, even though you're not feeling like it's what you're supposed to be doing.

May I please offer up another perspective? Your client is severely disabled. It sounds like he is stuck in his tiny apartment, with no stimulation. That means you are his world. Anything he does, anything he experiences during the time that you're with him, is controlled by you. For those hours, you determine the quality of his life. To me, this seems like a huge responsibility!

What can you do to make his life a little bit better? More colorful? More engaging? Could you play music? Sing to him? Read to him from your favourite book? Perhaps tell him about the beautiful things you see on your hikes. Can you find ways to show him that you see him as a fellow human being and not just a patient?

Good luck with it, dear bloomy. For your sake and his, I hope you begin to find meaning in this work. :hug:

 

[VikVikViktorious]

Hey Bloomy.
I am amidst a similar struggle.
My abuser constantly "sold" himself to me my whole life, and I am currently in a high pressure "sales" job.
Something that is incredibly helpful for me is writing out my irrational fears. My therapist tells me that writing is scientifically proven to rewrite our brain chemistry. Pen and paper, not clicking a keyboard or phone screen.
Not sure if you keep a journal or not, but I encourage you to work on writing out the things that give you the severe anxiety, why they give you the severe anxiety, why it is irrational, and why you are so determined to overcome it.
I wish you the best! I had one of my first "good" days at work today. I've been at my company for over 9 months.