Grim Thoughts

[fuzzypenguin]

Verbally expressing myself is hard. Physically telling someone how I'm feeling or what's on my mind is hard. Typing and writing is so much easier for me. I just don't know what to do if/when I go back to counseling. I've thought about asking if it would be okay to email her prior to the appointment with things I wanted to talk about. At numerous appointments, I've brought my journal or a small notebook of things I wanted to talk about, but I always chickened out there too. I just want to clear the air sort of speak and let her know a lot of thoughts I've been having. I'm concerned...

Any ideas?

 

[twinkle30]

When I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia I was very shy with my psychiatrist. I didn't like going into detail about hallucinations because it was embarrassing. I wouldn't even mention them lots of time. One day I had had enough and wanted them to stop so I told him the truth. I started by saying, "well I don't want to sound weird but.." He told me, "I have been doing this for over 20 years, I no longer believe anything is weird".
It's probably the same with your therapist. You are shy to talk about your thoughts but they have probably heard it all. If they work with the abused they also work with abusers. So they have heard lots of "weird" things. I think you just have to bit the bullet and be honest with your T.

 

[Cinnamon4z]

fuzzy- talking is the most difficult thing to do a lot of the time- especially face to face. I am the same way. Everytime I try to speak about my trauma or sometimes various things relating to and following my trauma, I get really anxious, scared & panicky- start shaking, trembling, feel chest tense up & hurt, and my back pain return, etc.
Emailing & writing can be relatively easier most of the time (still get some anxiety sometimes when writing about my trauma and stuff). I am exploring various non-verbal therapies and found sandplay and art therapy to be helpful modalities for me. Expressing my feelings, thoughts & emotions verbally is a challenge at times also. so you are not alone.
Partly it may have to do with how much i trust and can connect with my T. But it also has to do with how intimate and hazy the feelings are and other times it can be kinda 'triggering'....
A way to bridge this might be to use "feeling cards" to help you convey certain emotions when you feel stuck

 

[Friday]

What's wrong with writing?

Literally. As in, it sounds like you believe there's something wrong with it? Or am I reading that incorrectly / if so, why not write stuff out?

 

[Suzetig]

There's nothing wrong with writing it all down and giving it to your T to read through - I've done it at various points in my therapy and it has really helped move things along. Whatever works for you is s good thing.

 

[Panda Bear]

Some of the BEST and most helpful insights for my T, have come from my writings. This is why he allows emails from me. When he realized that I had an amazing ability, once pushed far enough, to spill information in great detail, he was relieved! He was at a loss, my responses to things were so off balance, he couldn't tell if something bothered me or not. He got nothing. When he learned I processed information through the writings, it helped us both so much.

Now, it's easier for me to start topics verbally, because he has built on that skill and taught me how to bring verbal words to what I feel and think.

 

[mycrazytrain]

My therapy for today......................

The silence really echoes in the dark

Knowing where you really stand

The knowledge that you really are

Where you need to be



Safely breathing in the life

Putting all your worries to bed

Surrendering to that feeling

That it’s not all in your head



Tomorrows are filled with yesterdays

And you know it’s all been said

What’s done is done

And all it’s meant to be



Safely breathing in the life

Putting all your worries to bed

Surrendering to that feeling

That it’s not all in your head



Sometimes you have to live

To do that you have to breathe

I’ll take my time

And do this just for once

For me



Safely breathing in the life

Putting all your worries to bed

Surrendering to that feeling

That it’s not all in your head



You do your very best

Hope will see you through

Sometimes that is your best



Tomorrows are filled with yesterdays

And you know it’s all been said

What’s done is done

And all it’s meant to be