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Relationship Growing Pains?

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monicaelise

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I finally joined this site because I'm not sure where else to go. I met and quickly became involved with a lovely man this who happens to have ptsd this past spring. The first couple of months were pretty amazing, but after a rather chaotic stretch during which he medically separated from the military after 13 years (due to injuries which have resulted in nearly constant pain), went abroad for a couple of weeks, got sick, and went almost two months with no pay and had to deal with a number of disruptions on my end (kids came home, got some seriously bad news regarding my health, and had a number of family issues come up), things have gotten really rocky.

We've started arguing quite a bit and I'm not sure if this is the beginning of the end or whether it's just a matter of figuring out how to deal with each other. I don't know this man well enough to know whether the surly, moody, uncommunicative person I'm dealing with right now is the "real" him or this is just the ptsd rearing it's rather unattractive head in response the massive stress we've both been dealing with. I genuinely want to be with him and when he's calm he carries on as though we'll be together (e.g., shopping this weekend he asked me to pick towels for the house we'll be moving into after his lease is up, and didn't think to thank me for assembling furniture a couple weeks ago...which resulted in a minor tiff... because it was for "our house"), but when we argue he says things ("If I'm such an @$$hole, why don't you just leave?") that make it sound like he'd rather I wasn't around. How do you know when someone really doesn't want you? Am I supposed to go away? How much room is enough? too much?
 
Also, is it okay for me to take a break? If I ask for a little time to myself is this going to be taken as a sign I don't want to be together?
 
If you are struggling then taking some time out could be a good idea.

From reading your first post, he needs to be able to see how his behavior is effecting you, if he cant, then think carefully about what you are going to do.

PTSD is no excuse for abusive behavior.
 
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