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Growing up With PTSD - Child Care Givers

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Thank you all for creating this forum. After 21 years of dealing with insanity, its good to have a nice safe place to talk that is safe, affordable, and non invasive.

First I want to say that I love my family, even the ones that I have had to remove from my life to protect my safety. I understand that they are suffering and I am working on forgiving what they have done to me. I wish them peace and healing.

My family has a strong military history and I am sorry that so many members of my family have suffered injuries in service to our country.

My father served 2 tours in Vietnam as Army Infantry. His physical and emotional scars may never heal and I am saddened by that. By the time I was 8 years old, my mother (who is currently on disability for PTSD) decided that she had to divorce my father in order to save my life, my brother's life, and her own. She probably made the correct decision, despite the horrendous blood bath that my family calls a custody battle. I remember staying at my grandparents one night and the next morning my mother was there, then my brother and I found out that we were not allowed to go home and play in the back yard or see daddy. From that day on it was all out war.

After my parents divorced and I no longer had to see my father (he pointed a gun at me and my grandfather offered him 10k and no child support and no charges filed if dad would give up his visitation rights) my mother fell apart. She was already on the edge and this was too much for her to handle. She stopped eating, had trouble attending church, prayed for death. She could not possibly hold a job and we were getting no alimony or child support (she is currently on disability for PTSD).

My grandparents helped out a lot, until they got divorced (around 6th grade).

Sorry, but I need to stop the story here for now... i just can't continue... i will put in more details later. Thanks for listening.
 
Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of support and information here.

Anything you are not sure of just ask. Someone will answer or point you to the right thread.

Good luck with yor move forward.

Amethist
 
Thank you all for such compassion and understanding. I am determined to stop this cycle of abuse and trauma. There are a few things that seem to help the symptoms i have developed. Yoga is fabulous for balancing my emotions. Forgiveness mediation exercises have helped too. I have started keeping a journal again so i could sort through my emotions without the censorship that i would use with a therapist.
 
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