Has Any Couple Dealing With Combat Ptsd...

[Jaylyn]

Has any couple dealing with combat PTSD that have experienced an episode where the sufferer has become physically violent (only one time and it has been legally addressed) and is actively getting help with therapy and medication reconciled? I just want to meet people who have been through this or read articles or anything....it'd be great to talk to a couple going through this or that has been through this.

 

[ms spock]

Hello Jaylyn,

Welcome to the Forum! There are some great people here. I hope you find the support and solace that you are looking for at this time.

 

[Johnnyboy]

Can't say I went through that from the other side. I always controlled myself, but often just by a hair. A couple of times it was accidental I didn't hurt someone. If he can learn to redirect his stuff to other targets in that moment it can help. Learn to go out somewhere else. Maybe I should say that he has to learn that. And good for you for not putting up with it. You shouldn't accept abuse from some guy just because he's combat PTSD. He can at least learn redirection.

I'm a big advocate of hyperbaric oxygen therapy. It is quite helpful at healing brain injuries. Not perfect, but I tried it after hearing about some case histories. It helps rebuild control. There are private clinics around that will do it for 10% of what a hospital will - around $150 to $200 an hour. 30 sessions is a good starting number. It has helped me so much that I got myself my own low end chamber and an oxygen concentrator. It's the poor man's hyperbarics, but it also works. Lots of times I get in there and within 10 minutes I've conked out. Sleep is really important for PTSD - getting good quality sleep. And it can be hard to come by.

Also - prozac, even at low, subclinical dose has been shown to result in growth of nerves in the brain over a year or two. You could talk to him about that and he could askl his doctor.

I am pretty convinced that a lot of that flash-over type violence is from degrees of brain damage. As the brain rebuilds, it should get tamed. That takes time. All this takes time.

It's good to take up some sport that won't rattle his cage. I'm also a big advocate of that. Running, biking, hiking, swimming, baseball, basketball, triathlon. Sports that get a guy moving a lot but won't give him more concussions and won't stimulate stuff. High activity level also spurs nerves in the brain to grow.

Hmm. Can't say as this is for you or not, but for me, I have done periods away, even a day or a weekend if things are too much for some reason. It's a thought. But I don't know you and your relationship.

(And if I don't post a lot - I come here once in a while. I've gotten very busy and things are going pretty ok. I just don't have a lot of time.)

 

[Jaylyn]

Yeah, this was one time, but even one time is not ok, PTSD or not. That's what his 3 weeks in the psych ward at the hospital were working on was redirection and teaching him to deal with his emotions.

We might can ask the VA about the oxygen therapy. He's already been doing the EMDR therapy. They have him on Zoloft and a few other medications, 5 I believe. He doesn't get quality sleep and before all this happened I kept telling him that me and our newborn need to sleep in a different room, but he insisted on us being in the same room. Even our oldest daughter, I told him she needed to be in her own room, but he insisted on having her sleep in the same room as us so if either child woke up he'd wake up and still go to work the next day and he already had trouble staying asleep for a while even when he was still living in the barracks.

We use to do those things, but having 2 very young children we hadn't been able to, plus he just moved back home from base (he just EASed). We use to play tennis, basketball, jog/walk, etc. I am a kinesiology major and we are big on exercise. We actually had just received weights for Christmas from his sister. Also I am planning on teaching him yoga (he's tried before, but gave up because "he couldn't do it right" and no matter how much I encouraged him he just insisted he wasn't good enough which is part of the problem right now). He really wants to start doing the yoga now though. He did a lot of art therapy in the psych ward and we plan on doing more of that together and individually. I bought him The PTSD Workbook, it has lots of exercises in it too and am always searching for more. He's really been focusing on studying the Bible again too it's been very helpful with the meds and therapy.

It's good to at least hear we are on the right track. As far as the relationship his therapist says we should live together if we are comfortable with it, but that we should let him have his own therapy for a while before we start marriage counseling.

The plan is to sleep separate when needed (as I am still scared and also we have kids and like you said it wakes him up). Also he is going to find a 3rd party "safe-haven" as he called it if I am too fearful to have him in the house or if he needs a day or two to escape and get his head straight himself.

We also made a sign that says "Because I love you, I need a break. I will return to you with a hug and a kiss." so either of us can hang it on whatever door of whatever room we need a break in.

I have also hung up reminds and all his art therapy stuff. I also too a worksheet he did in therapy that says "I will like myself A-Z" then has positive affirmations A-Z of things he likes about himself and I hung it on the mirror in the bathroom so he can see it and stand in the mirror repeating things to himself about himself and start to see himself in a better light. (I wrote my own version for him because part of his problem is he thinks everyone thinks he is worthless when he gets back and I have it back I am going to hang it too).

I did notice on one of the worksheets he gave me to look at that one of his escapes is his video games. I think that'll be our biggest conflict. The therapist told me to exclude the violent ones (Halo is his favorite, my favorite is Call of Duty) and violent movies, because before our incident he was watching the Batman movie. We do have a Kinect for the Xbox and tons of Kinect games, but I know how much he loves Halo.

I welcome any more ideas and perfection on my own.