Sometimes I dissociate at work. Recently I dissociated during a meeting and have no idea what I said! It's like being wrapped in plastic and your brain is floating above the table but your body is immobilized. Also, it happens when I commute and am behind the wheel. Frightening. Anyone else have dissociative episodes at work, on way to work??? Yikes, I am the sole breadwinner in my family!! They are counting on me.
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Has Anyone Dissociated While At Work Or Commuting?
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silkleaves
Gold Member
Usually not when I'm working, but then.. I'm doing "busy" work, so when I'm working, my mind is focused on the task at hand and nothing else... Actually, for me work is an escape from being left alone with myself to let my thoughts wander... Though if I had to attend meetings, I'm pretty sure I would check out at some point or another.
While driving though...all the time. I've learned to use my GPS no matter where I'm going, even if it's down the block to the grocery store. That way, with the GPS lady yelling at me to turn right, or go left, I'll stay on track. Sometimes I space out anyway, but for the most part, it helps keep me actively focused cause the voice brings me back. Otherwise, I'll either end up in some other place, or drive around the block and end up back at home.
While driving though...all the time. I've learned to use my GPS no matter where I'm going, even if it's down the block to the grocery store. That way, with the GPS lady yelling at me to turn right, or go left, I'll stay on track. Sometimes I space out anyway, but for the most part, it helps keep me actively focused cause the voice brings me back. Otherwise, I'll either end up in some other place, or drive around the block and end up back at home.
D
Deleted member 12723
I used to space out so much while driving. Dangerous. I still do it very occasionally now.
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NovemberStar
Platinum Member
I think it's pretty normal to dissociate while driving - even those without PTSD do this, although to a lesser extent. I guess I'm lucky in that work is totally separate for me - most of the time, no matter how dissociated / severe my symptoms, if I have to go to work, they disappear while I'm at work. I can be feeling suicide, huge anxiety and struggle to get out of bed / leave the house - but if I'm called to work, I somehow instantly switch into work mode. Like playing a role I suppose. My problems (for the main) go away. Within minutes of leaving work, they come back again.
I understand your fear - being the breadwinner and worrying if it happened at work and you can no longer work, it could be disaster for your family in terms of financial stability. HOWEVER - think of it this way - the dissociation is 'merely' a symptom of anxiety (albeit pretty bad!). And clearly, it will intensify the more anxious you are - you are triggered somehow, feel highly anxious, dissociate, then worry further about the implications of this - which will leave you MORE anxious, and dissociation will probably worsen.
When I have fear around the level of dissociation I have, I've found it helpful to remind myself of this 'it's ok, November, yes, you are feeling dissociated, and that's ok - it purely means you are highly anxious right now, but you're not in danger. Your mind is doing this to PROTECT you - you can trust it, it will be ok". Another thing I find very helpful is to remind myself 'this is a symptom of my anxiety - it is harmless and I am not going crazy'. That helps me reduce the bulk of the anxiety and helps me feel less dissociated - or at the very least, prevents it becoming more severe.
I'd encourage you to talk to your Dr, you may need some additional meds for anxiety; and talk to hr T also, work out if there is anything at work that is triggering the anxiety - is it extra stress, responsibility, time pressure, or a co-worker or boss that triggers you to dissociate? Identifying the triggers can help you feel more in control, because you can 'expect' them in advance and come up with ways to alleviate the higher levels of anxiety.
Hope that helps!
I understand your fear - being the breadwinner and worrying if it happened at work and you can no longer work, it could be disaster for your family in terms of financial stability. HOWEVER - think of it this way - the dissociation is 'merely' a symptom of anxiety (albeit pretty bad!). And clearly, it will intensify the more anxious you are - you are triggered somehow, feel highly anxious, dissociate, then worry further about the implications of this - which will leave you MORE anxious, and dissociation will probably worsen.
When I have fear around the level of dissociation I have, I've found it helpful to remind myself of this 'it's ok, November, yes, you are feeling dissociated, and that's ok - it purely means you are highly anxious right now, but you're not in danger. Your mind is doing this to PROTECT you - you can trust it, it will be ok". Another thing I find very helpful is to remind myself 'this is a symptom of my anxiety - it is harmless and I am not going crazy'. That helps me reduce the bulk of the anxiety and helps me feel less dissociated - or at the very least, prevents it becoming more severe.
I'd encourage you to talk to your Dr, you may need some additional meds for anxiety; and talk to hr T also, work out if there is anything at work that is triggering the anxiety - is it extra stress, responsibility, time pressure, or a co-worker or boss that triggers you to dissociate? Identifying the triggers can help you feel more in control, because you can 'expect' them in advance and come up with ways to alleviate the higher levels of anxiety.
Hope that helps!
There is dissociation which is normal when driving, the type where you are aware in a vague sort of way, on auto pilot get from A to B without clear recall of getting there and then there is the type that is really dangerous, where you aren't in control at all.
When I was working some really difficult experiences in therapy for months on end, I was having some really bad dissociative experiences some of which nearly caused an accident because I was so out of it. I had to come off all antidepressants (they made me numb out more) after my dissociation became so bad, that in one day I nearly had 5 accidents.
My therapist warned me if I didn't get my dissociation under control I would have to reconsider driving, and he spent a lot of time making me learn grounding techniques.
Having an out of body experience while driving is dangerous, not just to you but others. He was going to report me if it continued. Changing what I was thinking about helped, I tuned out when I drive, I was thinking about trauma without even realizing it.
To stop it when I feel it coming on, I start feeling my hands on the steering wheel, my foot on the pedal, put down all the windows so the wind is cooler on my face, slow breathing, later when I am back in my body singing to music and concentrating on the words of the song, redirecting away from the thoughts that brought on the dissociation, helps keep me there. If I am really bad I get off the road, but in heavy traffic that isn't always safer, especially when you are driving in one lane, and it feels like your body is in the lane next to you. Scary stuff.
When I was working some really difficult experiences in therapy for months on end, I was having some really bad dissociative experiences some of which nearly caused an accident because I was so out of it. I had to come off all antidepressants (they made me numb out more) after my dissociation became so bad, that in one day I nearly had 5 accidents.
My therapist warned me if I didn't get my dissociation under control I would have to reconsider driving, and he spent a lot of time making me learn grounding techniques.
Having an out of body experience while driving is dangerous, not just to you but others. He was going to report me if it continued. Changing what I was thinking about helped, I tuned out when I drive, I was thinking about trauma without even realizing it.
To stop it when I feel it coming on, I start feeling my hands on the steering wheel, my foot on the pedal, put down all the windows so the wind is cooler on my face, slow breathing, later when I am back in my body singing to music and concentrating on the words of the song, redirecting away from the thoughts that brought on the dissociation, helps keep me there. If I am really bad I get off the road, but in heavy traffic that isn't always safer, especially when you are driving in one lane, and it feels like your body is in the lane next to you. Scary stuff.
silkleaves
Gold Member
There was a point in time a couple years ago when I was afraid to drive, and my ex drove with me once and suggested to me that maybe I not drive for awhile because I kept "dipping out" and my driving was freaking him out, he made me pull over on the side of the freeway even. This was all within a couple of weeks of me starting therapy.
Nowadays, I'm finding I take public transportation a lot more...We have a train that runs through the city, its right by my home and leads to places I visit most often, so if possible, I'd rather take that than drive... Traffic here is insane too though, and I'm always a wreck by the time I arrive where I need to go if I end up in rush hour, so it's a lot more peaceful for me to just take the train.
Really am trying here to do what I can to keep myself steady here...I can't avoid driving altogether, and really don't want to. I don't want to end up avoiding that to the point that I *really* can't get anywhere at all. But I at least try to minimize the damage to my nerves and avoid a bad situation if I can.
Nowadays, I'm finding I take public transportation a lot more...We have a train that runs through the city, its right by my home and leads to places I visit most often, so if possible, I'd rather take that than drive... Traffic here is insane too though, and I'm always a wreck by the time I arrive where I need to go if I end up in rush hour, so it's a lot more peaceful for me to just take the train.
Really am trying here to do what I can to keep myself steady here...I can't avoid driving altogether, and really don't want to. I don't want to end up avoiding that to the point that I *really* can't get anywhere at all. But I at least try to minimize the damage to my nerves and avoid a bad situation if I can.
SeanCharles
Diamond Member
I do dissociate at work, I do find I tend to do more in depth thinking (intrusive thinking and maybe even having internal DID dialoguing) during the times I am actually doing "busy" work; i.e. cleaning tasks. When I am behind the register, then it's focused on what I am doing, if it's a cash transaction, I make sure I correctly give back only what the customer is due in change.
Yes. Is this fair to others?
SeanCharles
Diamond Member
I am a little confused here... Is it fair to others? that it occurs behind the wheel? or while commuting? or both.
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