Has Your Opinion About God Been Affected by Your Suffering?

[linasmom]

You two seem to understand the difference between religion and god. Please explain it to me, because I see them as the same.

2quilt

I do as well. However, I can see how people can still distance themselves from a specific religion but still believe in God - which is usually referred to as being "spiritual".

The problem with this is that God was invented by those trying to make sense of the world - at first it was considered "mythology" - when there were many Gods, and then God became "The Only One" and groups of people used this idea to control other groups of people.

God was created in a time before advanced scientific research. Hell, I would have probably believed in God had I lived in the days of the Roman Rule. But since then, the scientific community has made great strides! For me, there is no reason to believe in a god, we have other evidence of something more logical that does not create a struggle for power.

I guess my question is: if you believe in God but do not choose to be part of a specific religion - then what is your god like? Did your god create the earth 6,000 years ago or billions of years ago? Does your god love all? What are the attributes of YOUR god if you do not subscribe to a particular religion?

 

[Grama-Herc]

You could call it Spirit. That is the sense I have of a "being" around me. My guide through life. My conscience if you want. I am given an inner sense of right and wrong but free will. Spirit tries to guide me, gives me the answers, but I have the free will to believe, accept and follow.

While I don't always know the consequences of my actions until it is to late, I am learning to listen to spirit and trust it's judgement. I have noticed that when I question or fail to follow spirit I usually get into trouble. Trouble that I could have avoided had I listened.

So, in conclusion, I guess my Spirit is my god. It is not something I worship or pay homage to. I just believe it it.

This is the best way I know to explain the difference.

 

[2quilt]

Thanks to all for comments and clarification. I hope that nobody feels threatened or pressured to adopt someone else's beliefs or ideology here. We are just exposing our thoughts to oxygen instead of keeping them in our heads.

One of the best parts of this forum is that we can share our thoughts without losing friends.

 

[katapuss]

I suffered extreme emotional abuse and some physical abuse as a child from a stepmother and peers. Over the last five years I spent time with an abusive boss which triggered so much shit for me. I have been suffering with could be termed depression and psychotic symptoms having reached burnout stage at work and recently having post natal depression (which I think is also PTSD related for me). I struggle with authority figures and people pleasing behaviours and fear rejection. I have so many behaviours that as a child were designed to keep me safe but am finding more and more they don't work now as an adult. I am having to learn how to set my own boundaries and rules for life that will keep me safe. Throughout my healing journey I have always felt a guiding force within me that has helped me have faith that I can keep going and that has also guided me through insights and accurate messages (when you get taught things in mediation that turn out to be tried and tested methods of healing it can be freaky). Whether you call that force God, Goddess, Self, Higher Self, or just your whole psyche or whatever it has definitely been there for me. What has changed for me lately (after much soul work) is that I now feel there is a "place" inside me that knows my worth, that knows I am enough as I am. (I see it as a mass of golden light energy and it "feels" whole and eternal"). Having this reference point within me stops me collapsing completely when anxiety gets triggered. Before I would fully buy into believing the negative thinking that would accompany the anxiety, now because I know my worth I can see the NATs as lies. (interestingly knowing my own worth makes me value the worth of other people more too) I have had many synchronistic events in my life during my healing journey that cannot just be explained away. My view of the universe is this. We are all part of the energy/spirit sometimes termed God and that our connection with this force is inside everyone of us. I am finding that the more I turn internal to seek guidance and support from this source the stronger I am becoming in myself. (I may not be explaining myself here very well). I also believe that as PTSD journeyers we have the opportunity to break the generational cycles that have maintained and perpetuated the abuse that leads to such things as PTSD and as such we will affect the collective consciousness of the human race. The abuse was never our fault but the responsibility of healing ourselves so we stop the cycle right here right now is. Healing yourself helps heal the collective which helps heal the world.

Kate

 

[Marlene]

Katapus,

I think you explained yourself quite well. Stopping the abuse and healing ourselves as a way to help others throughout the world heal...yeah, I can see that. I see it in my life. I see how my daughters are compared to myself at that age. I see my oldest daughter with my grandson and I see the differences. I see my small part in helping to make their lives better by not doing what my parents (and generations back) did.

Lisa

 

[tude]

I have mixed feelings about this thread. It's difficult to respond because that would require me to examine my beliefs.

Yes, I used to believe in God. The incidents at work did affect my beliefs. I started to have excessive guilt about my relationship with God. With the irrational fear of dying in a car crash, also came a slight fear of going to hell. It wasn't because of anything I did. I feared going to hell because I had distanced myself from God- it wasn't the close relationship that it used to be. Additionally, I felt guilty for wasting my God-given talents.

The guilt and fear resolved. I came to realize that I was attributing human characterisitcs and limitations to a superhuman being. In other words, the guilt came from perceiving God as having less than perfect grace and forgiveness. When it came to the fear of going to hell, this is where it all bottomed out. I stopped believing in God. My beliefs became agnostic, closely bordering on atheist. (You see, it has never been in my nature to blindly follow. I have always questioned authority.) I questioned where this belief in hell came from. I asked myself, "Who's to say hell exists?" Answering this for myself, the fear dissipated. The next logical question was, "Who's to say God even exists?" With the answer to this question, my faith was gone.

I think it's important to point out that the fear and guilt were not necessarily driven by any formal religious beliefs. Honestly, the existence of hell and God-given talents are the only ones that I can think of. Why? Because my understanding of God was not so much a religious one. More than anything, it was a relationship. My understanding and relationship with God was very much that of an ideal parent. God was everything I wanted and needed- strong, omnipotent, nurturing, compassionate, unconditional, always present, dependable, reliable, caring, interested, non-judgmental... As I think about it now, I can understand why children have imaginary friends.

I miss having that relationship. It has more than helped me through the tough times. It has even elevated and sustained me during the good times too. Because with it also came some peace, meaning, and purpose. Lately, what I miss the most is that I never felt alone.

I don't know if I'll ever believe in a god again. My understanding of God has let me down. At this point in time, I am not willing to re-invest in that relationship. As all relationships change and have the potential for repair, I guess this one does too.

 

[cookie]

i feel sad for you. you know, no matter how you feel about God, no matter how you change, He is still the same. you will never change God, only yourself. and yes, it is a relationship, not "religion". not trying to sway anyone to something they don't want, just the truth i know.

 

[jeapea]

He restored my soul.

 

[Marlene]

i feel sad for you. you know

Why do you feel sad? Because others don't believe as you do? Too bad. This thread was started to NOT get these kinds of comments. It was created as a free exchange of ideas with no fear of someone being smacked down for expressing their individual ideas. Your beliefs are just as valid as anyone elses UNTIL you decide that you don't like their beliefs and make comments like you made.

Lisa

 

[cookie]

actually, i was talking to "tude". should have clearified that. and i felt sad for him because he has mixed feelings and is unsure how he feels. why do you feel you have to jump on me for telling how i feel? i did not smack him down, or try to make him feel bad, forgive me for caring. you know you are doing exactly what you are preaching against marlene.
cathy

 

[katapuss]

People,

As PTSDers it is common as hell for us to misinterpret what other people say and to get defensive. Might I suggest this as a useful way of dealing with such comments in the future e.g.

Cookie when you said you felt "sad for you" I felt that you were smacking other people down for having different views to you and I did't like that. I am not sure if this is what you intended and it may be the way I am interpreting it. Please could you clarify?

I soooooooooo misinterpret a lot and am finding this a helpful way to deal with my tendency to do that. I also use the "Now what else could this person be meaning by saying that?" question to myself because I do have a tendency to jump to conclusions about what they mean.

What are your thoughts on what I wrote guys? Helpful, unhelpful, Stop butting my nose in...lol

 

[Marlene]

Cookie-clarification would have helped. Although my opinion probably wouldn't have changed even with clarification.

You have your opinion and I have mine. Ain't it grand? As for you saying I'm doing what I'm preaching against...don't think so. But thanks for the offer. Again, my opinion.