Sideways
Moderator
This is really difficult territory, because when we're angry at the T (as opposed to angry at, say, someone else, or something that happened to us outside therapy), we do have to be careful that we don't devolve into abusive language directed at the T. Excessively hostile language directed at them personally, whether aggressive or passive aggressive, isn't something that's going to work for a T.A therapist should be able to withstand an angry email (if that is what you sent).
I'm not saying that's what happened here, but anger can be a difficult emotion to communicate effectively, without attacking the person we're angry with. It's a learned skill for most of us how to do that. And while Ts should be able to weather an angry patient, even a patient who is angry at them, that becomes dependent on how that anger is being expressed.
I do wonder about the longevity of this relationship. Personally, in the past? I've found ruptures with Ts to be pretty traumatic experiences in themselves! It's really difficult in that moment to see beyond "this T is going to abandon me, and I won't have any help".
That, though, simply isn't true. Whatever we've learned from them? We take with us. And while some of those past ruptures were traumatic for me at the time? They were appropriate. Overdue even. I was so frightened of losing my T, that I wasn't aware that I really was at the end of what they were able to contribute (and had been for some time).
Our relationship with our T is professional, but also very personal. It's no doubt an incredibly painful situation to be experiencing. I hope the situation resolves favourably for all involved. Certainly it sounds like journalling between sessions, rather than emailing between sessions, may be more helpful moving forward. I've long abandoned emailing my T about therapy issues between sessions - there's too much emotion involved, and the risk of either party misinterpreting content (and the ramifications of that misinterpretation) is way too high.
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