Have To Do An Assignment On Sexual Assault

[Manic11]

I am finishing up high school through online courses as I was forced to drop out of school because of my PTSD. I was working on my schooling this morning when I got to a certain chapter that I really didnt like. This chapter is about rape and sexual assault.

I'm supposed to read about it, answer questions and make a project about it. How am I supposed to do this? I have just skipped over things like that before but if I skip over this, I'm worried that it will interfere with my passing that course.

I am having trouble even sitting down to read it... Everytime I sit down and open up the book to that page, I think of something else that must be done at that moment (such as washing the dishes) and I go do that. Anything to procrastinate.

I'm worried that if I write about it, I'll write too much and get so into it that its obvious something may have happened to me. I don't want my teacher even coming close to assuming that...
But at the moment I can't even concentrate on looking at it.
I don't know what to do..... help?

Manic

 

[teejaye]

If you were to get into the assignment and complete it, is there anyone you trust to read it and help edit out the "extra" information?

Would completing this assignment be triggering for you? If not, do you think it may be an opportunity for you to educate your teacher about the effects of sexual assault? You could use what you've learned about PTSD's effects to help guide your response.

Just a few ideas ... good luck, Manic!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I know it's hard to face this crap, but.....Try reading a paragraph or 2, get up, walk away, do something for 5 minutes to calm down. return to the book for a few minutes. Try this, and see if you can better cope with it. Facing unpleasant things, is hard, but it's also important to our recovery. It's just how much, and how long to expose yourself that's the key. IMO!!!!!

 

[supergirl]

would it help if you had someone else answer the questions? I would be more than happy to do it for you if you want. Then you don't have to worry about your story being told. PM me if you're interested. :smile:

 

[nickeldoor]

Hi Manic11, I am sorry that you have to drop out of school. I think learning is one of the most wonderful things in life. I have the same problem as you. I dropped out of high school because I didn't understand what was being taught. My mind just couldn't take in knowledge. I think PTSD and depression started creeping into my life after my childhood abuse, and nobody knew about this. So sad.

I know that I had a lot of difficulty in learning stuff, even reading the short article in the newspaper etc. When I was studying for my computer science degree, i hated it and had forgotten most of the stuff i learned. And those knowledge stuff just couldn't get into my brain. I would start to fidget after 5 mins and I couldn't sit still when I was in primary school. I just got to move around. It was a terrifying experience. I think those PTSD and depression were like my brother and sister to me since young. I hope they are decreased now.

I wish you good luck in getting a good education - it's fun when we really start applying them to our real life. I was thinking of getting a psychology degree, just for my interest sake ;)

Blesses.
~nickeldoor~
"The most authentic thing about us is our ability to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering." - Ben Okri

 

[fin]

Manic I hope that somethings are working through better for you and that you have hopefully found an answer to your situation. PLease know you are not alone in what you have written here, I have also had the same problems myself in almost the exact same thing too. She cat has given really good advice here I have done this also myself and it was how I coped with reading here when I first came to the forum also.

Maybe delay sending once written and read through again several times with breaks (maybe days) between each reading it may help you to remove some of what is personal to you, I hope that came out right, I mean that as we re read (like with exposure also) we can become less fearfull perhaps of what it is we are really saying and we can maybe look slightly more detached and less emotive perhaps at exactly what it is we are saying. I don tknow if this will help you, it has surely helped me some in looking at things with maybe a more critical eye, less emotionals maybe and hopefully you may well see what it is your teacher/mentor sees when they read you re project back themselves.

“Reading, like writing, is a creative act. If readers only bring a narrow range of themselves to the book, then they'll only see their narrow range reflected in it.” Okri also (I believe)


Manic I hope this can help you some, I was sorry to read of your situation, and also I wanted to let you know I understood what you were telling saying to us me here. I share some of the same things also. PLease know you are not alone here on the forum and some improvement can be hoped for. All learning to managing I hope