Medical Haven't Had A Physical Since 2009 And I Need One

[Senecia]

My psychiatrist wants to check if my liver and thyroid are working correctly. Understandable - it doesn't make sense to give me prozac if my thyroid is going bonkers. So I need to get a physical, but I figure this is my opportunity to check for more than just those two.

Here's the thing. I'm a huge hypochondriac, and I go through periods where all I do is worry if I have this or that. All google says is, surprise, cancer. So I try not to self-diagnose... I've been sexually active since I was sixteen, am 19 almost 20 now, have slept with three people and have not been protected each time. I KNOW I need to go get examined just for safety.. Both mine and others'. My fiance says it would probably bring a lot of peace to me to know I'm okay. Or figure out treatment if I'm not.

This is my opportunity for a pap and goddamnit, Im terrified. You know those funny clips in black and white of people screaming in horror at scary monsters? That's me. I'm paralyzed. I've read that gynecologists are trained to deal with abuse victims and they'll make sure I'm okay and safe. I've read through procedures. I've even watched videos so i know what will happen. But I'm still locked in place, nearly hyperventilating, in terror.

They say that someone can be in the room with you during the exam, but that just makes me cry more. I don't know why. I'm so mad that I'm this afraid. It's not just of the exam, it's about knowing results even though I don't like not knowing... It's even just about calling the clinic. I'm terrified to even call. I'm a deer in headlights.

Has anyone gone through these procedures with a similar.... Pre-experience? I swear I'm the most terrified person I know over something so.. Simple.

 

[hodge]

Well, I don't think it really is simple, Senecia. A Pap exam is an invasive procedure by definition, just as a prostate exam is for men. I've had trouble with it, too. I always have to do my breathing exercises during it. I've been raped three times and I have gone through the exam every year since I was 15. You can do it!!! It helps me that now I have a woman doctor with tiny hands and even so she always has her nurse in the room, too. Do you take anti-anxiety meds? If not, maybe you can get your doctor to prescribe an Ativan or something to help you get through this. It is really important for women to get this exam every year.

 

[StellaBlue]

After a lot of years (and a history of cancer), I finally had my "yearly" exam last year. I also went to the dentist for the first time in 5 years a couple of weeks ago...so I get where you are coming from. I don't know where you are or if you have restrictions on who you can choose (due to insurance or whatever), but I believe most gynecologists today have at least some training in trauma. I would recommend calling first and explaining your fear (you don't need to go into detail). You can also ask to talk to the doctor before the examine while you are fully dressed. Typically (at least here in the US), there will be two people in the room - the doctor and a nurse or PA - I think this is for the "safety" of the doctor in terms of liability or accusations. I'm guessing they would allow you to bring someone in if you wanted as well. That person could hold your hand or stay by your head during the examine. You might also ask for a low dose of an anti-anxiety drug or try some mindfulness techniques to stay calm and present.

Barring all of that, you can just totally dissociate during the exam ;). (I think there are times that dissociation is an entirely appropriate coping mechanism).

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I've experienced major anxiety with this too. I suggest listening to music, talking to the dr beforehand and I've had the nurse hold my hand. My doctor is really good about explaining everything step by step and distracting in conversation too. It is really important and for me the fear of the unknown and anxiety leading up is always worse.

 

[Friday]

First off... STD / STI testing for anything except HPV & Herpes is pee in a cup & a blood sample. Easy peezy.

You can't tell if a person has cervical cancer or high/low grade dysplasia with a blood test, because it's not always caused by HPV. I have a genetic kind that's hormone driven. Somehow (only god alone knows how) I test negative for HPV. They'd never have caught it without an exam.

My suggestion would be to get the complete physical done (including STD / STI testing), and then have an OB/GYN appointment seperate for the Pap smear & vaginal exam.

For 2 reasons: 1 so that you aren't compromising the rest of your health by one area that needs special handling, & 2 so that you can give yourself the special handling you need for that particular exam. Find a specialist who is comfy with trauma people, take a Valium (or whatever), and keep the whole thing as short & sweet as possible. Work your way up to getting comfortable with regular health care in one area, instead of holding everything else back while you work your way up to that. 2 separate issues, each handled differently.

 

[Lucycat]

It is really important for women to get this exam every year.

In the UK this test - we call a smear test - is done every 3 years unless there are abnormal results.

 

[StellaBlue]

In the UK this test - we call a smear test - is done every 3 years unless there are abnormal results.

Not to derail the OP's thread, but there is a lot of controversy over the "1 year rule" for pap smears here in the US. The same for yearly breast exams.

 

[Lucycat]

The same for yearly breast exams.

Now that is unknown to me. We have mammograms - ie xrays of the breast that start at - I think - over 50years old and I believe every 3 years. I have never been called for one yet.
Other breast examinations are self-examinations with no longer any consensus as to frequency. They used to say every month, but that changed as unhelpful.

 

[Senecia]

Thanks guys..it's good knowing that I'm not alone. I know it will be okay, I just have to take a deep breath and maybe even dissociate a little, heh. I'm still working up to calling the clinic...but you guys made me feel a bit better. I think that when I call, I'll tell the receptionist that I'm a trauma victim or something of the like, so it's pretty stressful for me to go through that. They're a good clinic and I've been there lots before in the past...I think they'll understand?

 

[hodge]

Good luck, Senecia. Is there any particular doctor there that you have a rapport with? I know it helps me that my doctor always asks me about my art when she does my exam. But then this is a small town.

 

[ihateusernames]

Barring all of that, you can just totally dissociate during the exam

This is what I do. I'm barely aware of the exam starting and then it's over. I don't want to make you start worrying about something else, but the breast exam is actually the most unpleasant part for me mainly because I notice it happening.

n the UK this test - we call a smear test - is done every 3 years unless there are abnormal results.

We're moving toward this in the US, too. My doctor only schedules them every 3 years unless there is a problem. It seems to be standard among younger doctors. My OB still uses the 1 year rule. She's been practicing longer. I've heard something about insurance companies adopting it, too.

 

[StellaBlue]

I don't want to make you start worrying about something else, but the breast exam is actually the most unpleasant part for me mainly because I notice it happening.

I don't particularly like mammograms, but it makes me smile when other women talk about how painful they are because...well...I'm rather large chested, so it's not so bad. The pap smears became painful after my cancer treatment, so between that and the psychological discomfort, I stopped having them for a number of years.

I like @FridayJones idea of separating out the visits...and I'm guessing from what you've posted that you are probably too young for a mammogram, so it would be a physical breast exam.

One other thing - maybe plan on doing something nice for yourself afterwards as a reward...lunch out or coffee or whatever you find joy in doing.