Sufferer Hay I'm New Here And Have A Question.

[sleepingbeauty]

Hi my name is Rosie, I am a survivor of severe emotional, covert sexual, and also at one time physical abuse.:(
This year I ended contact with my separated parents, after 21 years of being treated like a doll/weapon/shield and suffering dissociative symptoms. Things are getting better.:tup:

My question is - has anyone on this forum over come dissociation and if so what did it feel like when you 'woke up'? My derealization has definitely stopped but my depersonalization has been very complex and confusing. I used to have really trouble saying things like 'I am me' for example, as if it was to much of a painful concept to be 'me' and all the parts of my mind weren't linked up.:alien:

I figured being able to say it would be some sort of test for when I'd healed- and I can say it now - but i still have the problem of it seeming a scary concept and not all my mind being linked up.:confused:

I find that dissociation is a very difficult thing to talk about and I am aware I am probably making no sense to most people, apologies for that!:p

But yeah any comments or stories then please post a reply, I have been suffering with it for 7 years, it started off as happening now and again and gradually became constant, and almost a personality trait.:notworthy:

xoxo

 

[KP the nut]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[youbetsya]

Hello- I'm new too but your beautiful dog caught my eye and it sounds like we have lot's in common. Hope you are having a good day!

 

[charabanc]

Hi Rosie! I'm new here, too. I relate to what you say re: dissociation becoming more of a personality trait than a typical symptom after a certain amount of time/prevalence. I think my "waking up" from constant dissociation was sparked by a breakup and starting therapy and it feels a little bizarre but really calming at the same time. I think for a long time I was desperate for someone to "see" me or "define" me--I remember during the years of trauma I'd stare at myself in the mirror and not be able to figure out what I was really looking at to the point where I would see a photo of myself (evidence that I truly existed?) and I would be terrified because it was like looking at a stranger. But now I see myself and I acknowledge that I exist as a human being rather than as a projection of my abuser and trauma. It's great! Still working on understanding that I'm a complex person that isn't defined solely by the trauma, but it's a work in progress, definitely...

 

[nimkekaa]

I don't know about over coming disociation but I have come a long way in understanding why I do, when it's starting to happen, and have learned ways to ground myself.

I am also beginning to learn who I am instead of just being who other people want me to be.

I too have ended contact with my parents and it was a really healthy thing for me.

I wish you well on your healing journey.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

youbetsya - really nice to hear we have lots in common, I still even now convince myself that I am the only one to have gone throu this sort of thing! message me any time u want to chat.

charabanc - I can identify with so much of what u said, especially about the photo.. I too feel like I am defined by the trauma, something I really need to work on. Let me know if u have any tips.

nimkekaa - I wish u well also and am reassured a little by the fact that u too have ended contact with your parents.
- do u (or anyone else) have any advice on what to say when friends/acquaintances bring up the topic of parents, without making the conversation awkward?

xoxo

 

[Whitneys story]

But yeah any comments or stories then please post a reply. xoxo

Hi Rosie, Welcome to the forum! I do not have any comments but know before long you will have lots of responses. There is something here for every person and every question! Success on your journey. Hugs if you accept them, Whitney

 

[anthony]

Welcome to the forum Rosie. There are plenty of people who get dissociation / derealization under control and out of their life. I have no doubt you can be one of those as well... it just takes a whole lot of hard self work to look inwards and resolve trauma.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome to the forum. I too cut off contact with my parents. I do not know what to say in response to your question of what to say, it never came up for me.

I wish you the best.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :tup::)

 

[stuff]

Hi Rosie,

I struggle with dissociation a fair bit too. I haven't overcome it, but I have learned a lot of coping skills and how to be a little kinder to myself when I'm having a rough go.

As for the parent thing, I have one parent who is in my life, supportive and I am grateful for him. My mom, who was my main abuser, passed away four years ago. I tell people we had a very difficult relationship when anyone asks or expresses sympathy for my loss. I think that explanation would work even with living parents, and you don't really have to divulge anything about what has gone on further than that if you don't want to.

 

[Lionheart]

Welcome to the forum Rosie. :)

My "t" says that only intelligent people dissociate as it is a highly developed survival mechanism. I don't know if all that is true or not, but as I have spent many years working on trauma issues, I have happily stopped dissociating and having feelings of depersonalization. This is my hope and wish for you as well.