I really need to vent yet again. Tried dealing with this myself tonight, but I've been just sitting in my room alternately seething and crying for hours.
I had a fight with my sister today, we screamed at each other and I came home from work feeling like crap. He's my best friend, and the first thing I wanted to do was call my boyfriend. I called and explained the situation to him, and then we decided to play video games together.
He asked me to play a game that is difficvult for me to play and I said no because I was stressed and he says that when I don't play well and get "spazzy" in the game it makes him tense and I knew because of how I felt this would have certainly been the case today!
After a bit I began to calm down and relax, and he said to me that I ruined his night with my tone, that I'm inconsistent-one day we have fun, the next we don't. He made a lot of snide little comments about how he is unsure about the relationship like "Don't buy me anything nice until I'm sure we get along." He told me next time don't call when I'm angry and left
In the past, the rule has been that if I'm upset I just need to tell him, and he will understand and be okay with it-as long as it isn't directed at him. But tonight he basically said, "I only want to spend time when you're happy and bubbly."
I guess I'm frustrated because I'm *human*. I get angry, I get upset sometimes and it is extremely difficult to be happy all the time. He's my partner and I feel like to some extent he should be able to interact with me when I'm not in the best mood-especially since my bad moods never last long. I don't think I should be made to feel bad because I have them.
He said "put yourself in my place, you make me tense and pissed". I wasn't even angry with him-I wasn't rude. I just was unhappy and you could hear it in my tone. Am I being unreasonable? Do I need to be happy all the time in front of him due to his PTSD? Is this the reality of a relationship with someone with PTSD?
I don't mean to be selfish if I am being that way, and if I do need to be consistently happy, I will just avoid calling when I'm upset. I'm trying very hard to be a good partner, but every week I seem to manage to fail at it. I feel like no matter what I do, I screw up and push him away.
Thanks for listening everyone.
I had a fight with my sister today, we screamed at each other and I came home from work feeling like crap. He's my best friend, and the first thing I wanted to do was call my boyfriend. I called and explained the situation to him, and then we decided to play video games together.
He asked me to play a game that is difficvult for me to play and I said no because I was stressed and he says that when I don't play well and get "spazzy" in the game it makes him tense and I knew because of how I felt this would have certainly been the case today!
After a bit I began to calm down and relax, and he said to me that I ruined his night with my tone, that I'm inconsistent-one day we have fun, the next we don't. He made a lot of snide little comments about how he is unsure about the relationship like "Don't buy me anything nice until I'm sure we get along." He told me next time don't call when I'm angry and left
In the past, the rule has been that if I'm upset I just need to tell him, and he will understand and be okay with it-as long as it isn't directed at him. But tonight he basically said, "I only want to spend time when you're happy and bubbly."
I guess I'm frustrated because I'm *human*. I get angry, I get upset sometimes and it is extremely difficult to be happy all the time. He's my partner and I feel like to some extent he should be able to interact with me when I'm not in the best mood-especially since my bad moods never last long. I don't think I should be made to feel bad because I have them.
He said "put yourself in my place, you make me tense and pissed". I wasn't even angry with him-I wasn't rude. I just was unhappy and you could hear it in my tone. Am I being unreasonable? Do I need to be happy all the time in front of him due to his PTSD? Is this the reality of a relationship with someone with PTSD?
I don't mean to be selfish if I am being that way, and if I do need to be consistently happy, I will just avoid calling when I'm upset. I'm trying very hard to be a good partner, but every week I seem to manage to fail at it. I feel like no matter what I do, I screw up and push him away.
Thanks for listening everyone.
