Relationship He Said He Doesn't Love Me Anymore

[BehindBlueEyes]

I don't think they really choose who to shut out but that the person they care about most is the one they push farthest away. My fiancé isn't very close to his family and such, so it seems to just be me that he has periods of isolation and being cold. I just can't help but be confused as to how things are so different now than when we first met. I wish there was a way to show them how it feels when they isolate, don't you? I think the PTSD keeps them from being able to really know how that could feel.

 

[Gorjussgeorgia]

I think that makes a lot of sense about the people you love most is the ones you push away. I asked if he wanted a divorce because if that's what he wants I will give it to him because I don't want to make him unhappy anymore. He said " i do want a divorce but I want to go through therapy first" so I don't know what that means. All I know is that I'm stuck in my hometown until he decides he wants us back or if he wants a divorce and I'm at a standstill. I can't get on with my life( I don't want to) until he makes a decision. In the meantime I'm miserable and depressed and I need to get on antidepressants but my doctors are in Oklahoma and I'm in Georgia.

 

[Gorjussgeorgia]

Update*

I'm at a loss right now. He said he does want a divorce but he wants to go through therapy first and then make a decision. He said he has to work on him first and then us. That makes sense but he also told me for the past three years he has only been with me for our son, but I don't know if I believe that because there was two times that I wanted to pack my bags and go back home and he fought for me... And I just don't understand if he doesn't want us to work out why hasn't he started the divorce? He says that he doesn't want us to work out because he has spent his whole adult life being married( I'm his third wife) and he just wants to be alone. I wish I could just have a look into the future and see what it holds. I'm going to continue to fight for him until he throws in the towel and maybe once he sees how I have been there for him and how I haven't given up on him it would make him open back up to me. I'm just so confused.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

We don't actively consciously choose who to shut out. The truth is that our friends, coworkers and even families just let us be us without all those extra expectations in a relationship. Read....relationships are ALWAYS more stressful for us.

 

[BostonBunny]

This is my first post. I'm so sorry to see what everyone is going through. I feel like each of your stories could be my own. Thank you so much for sharing, as your words of experience and hope are getting me through. PTSD and it's related depression and anxiety has turned my boyfriend into a stranger who will have no contact with me. One day at a time I give him his space, don't contact him and work on my self-care. It's so difficult , but what he's going through is hell, I'm sure. I'm so grateful I found this forum.

 

[kahlan]

Focus on the little one (mine is the best distraction in the world when N. isolates. Work on you and take care of yourself. In this you can't control what he does but you can control what you do.

It sucks for sure :( I've battled depression and anxiety for most of my life, so I can understand how it feels. (Hug)

 

[Futuremrs]

I don't know what to do either. My fiancé is always getting mad at me and is so distant I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's so hard and he looks at me like he hates me sometimes. I love him but I don't know how much pushing away I can take. I'm so hurt and he refuses counseling and I'm at a complete loss. I feel completely detached and depressed.

 

[Nelson2015]

@Futuremrs

I was in the same situation... and still am in a way. My fiancé with Combat PTSD recently left me. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk. We can compare notes...

 

[Futuremrs]

@Futuremrs

I was in the same situation... and still am in a way. My fiancé with...

I'm not sure how to message on here actually? But sure that sounds good if you can send me a message lol

 

[Nelson2015]

@Futuremrs

Will do... Sometime tomorrow probably. :)

 

[loving a ptsd]

I know exactly what you are going thru and just want to say thank you to everyone and their comments. My PTSD is tearing Me apart it seems. I know he loves me and our children just praying for strength to help him. Someone said you can love someone and hate them too. I love him dearly but i despise this condition. Sometimes i wonder if its not harder on us then it is them but then i realize it has to be harder on them because they don't understand why they are doing this. Seems like we each are going thru our own hell.