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Hello: Childhood Abuse Survivor

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Julliete

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Hello,

I was diagnosed with PTSD two or three years ago. I am a survivor of childhood abuse, including an attempt on my life in my own home by my mother and two "friends" of hers. I was also repeatedly threatened by them over the years up through my early adulthood. Last year, after several years of no contact, I went back to see if I could confront them and to see what legal recourse I might have, as I was told I may have some legal recourse.

It's a long story, but once back in my small home town my parents had me declared "mentally ill" and with a contact (the old boys network) at the state psychiatic institution, I was locked up and diagnosed as schitzophrenic after a two minute conversation with a doctor. I ended up locked up for over two months, and put on heavy drugs. I was told I would never be functional again and that I was completey deluded about the abuse and crazy.

I was required to go to outpatient service on my release. My parents had no tie to the outpatient doctor and social worker, and after evaluation there, I was declared "sane" and taken off all medication by the psychiatrist. I was released from the state (I had been put under order to remain there by a court as a threat to myself and others - even though I had made no threats... my mother reported I was threatening them). I have been on no medication since the end of January and I work full-time as a high school science teacher. And I have a scholarship for a Masters Degree that I started this summer. However, I'm still struggling with the prior ptsd diagnosis and what happened last year (almost three months locked in a state psych ward) compounds everything. No one at work has any idea what I have gone through and it feels very isolating. I'm not in therapy...although I m thinking about trying it.

I'm looking forward to connecting with other PTSD survivors as I believe that connecting with others is a key to healing.

Thank you for reading.
 
Hi Julliete, and welcoem to the forum. You have come to a very safe, very knowledgeable, very supportive place, and I do hope you will stay and post as and when you wish to.

Your story is quite frankly horrifying and disturbing, and i can barely imagine the fear and confusion and retraumatisation associated with your recent experience, let alone that which you suffered as a child.

I do hope you will consider seeking some therapy to help you begin to confront all that you have experienced. It is such a long and lonely road anyway, it helps immeasureably to know that you are not walking it alone. Do stay in touch.

Maddog
 
Welcome to the forum.

I'm so sorry to hear you went through all of that.

I hope you can find help and understanding on this forum.
 
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Hello Sandra, Maddog, and Pi,

Thank you for your welcome and kind words.

I have never joined a forum like this before and felt very nervous and it feels very nice to come see words of welcome and support. I hope I can also provide support to others as time goes on.

Thank you.
 
I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. You deserve the chance for justice and closure, especially since you suffered what you did as a child and then more when you returned. Abusers are people with a sickness themselves and most people do not know about their behind the curtains personality, which is sad because those of us who are victims at the time and even later in life question if we are viewing reality wrong.
If you seek justice with them, which after what they did to you is completely sound as it caused you even more abuse I would see an attorney. You will have to deal with more than you may want to and talk about things you don't want to relive if you seek legal representaion, so be prepared for that with a therapist or some social network that is there for you. I would also never go back to that place where they live again without someone who is on your side. About therapy...it will bring up things in your past that you may not want to remember, but if you are wanting to open these doors, then you may be able to deal with it now. It's a rollercoaster though and you need a therapist you can trust.
Take care. My thoughts are with you.
 
Wow, all this and you STILL got a degree, and are a teacher! I am amazed at your survival skills already!

I'm looking forward to connecting with other PTSD survivors as I believe that connecting with others is a key to healing.

This IS the first step. Finding out that you are not alone, is priceless. Therapy can't hurt, and it could help dealing with the rest of your life. For me, therapy helps me work out issues before they get too big and overwhelming. As you get older, more things may come to mind, and it helps to have some coping skills developed ahead of those times.

It is amazing how much our mind protects us, and maybe you are thinking about therapy because you have a feeling it might help? It IS worth the work! Without therapy, all my suffering, would have eventually left ME in the psyche ward, only permanently. I've been there 3 times, and hopefully won't need to return.

Learning your triggers, and how to deal with them is vital. I hope you continue your journey towards healing, sooner than later. :)

Blessings to you.
 
Julliete, hi -

Welcome to the forum! I am glad that you have found this lovely place and I hope it gives you as much as it has given me over the past years. You are clearly a very strong person. Congratulations on the scholarship! Your students are very lucky to have you as a teacher. Even though the students or coworkers do not know, but I am sure that they see it by everything you do.

I can't give you any advice related to the legal steps for what you experienced last year. I played coward and ducked out of that fight. That was one fight I could not take on and for me it was the right thing to do because I needed every ounce of energy to attempt two more therapists since then. The current one is definitely a keeper and we have been digging through some really hard stuff. My situation was related to doctors misdiagnosing me and running medical procedures without allowing me to contact anyone. They removed my cell phone which would have allowed me access to email, texting, and the internet.

Feel free to contact me!
 
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Welcome! I am new here to but not to PTSD. Our stories are very similar. My extended family tried to pull a fast one on me as well. My story was childhood sexual abuse by 3 family members. One of those family members threatened to kill me if I ever told. I kept my story to myself for 21 years. The state I grew up in has a statute of limitations for imprisonment. I had to notify law enforcement right after I turned 18. I told my future husband when I was 21; he was the first person I ever told. I have been in and out of counseling for the last 21 years. I collapsed from exhaustion, seizures symptoms and confusion 2 years ago. I was placed in the ICU for 5 days with my heart rate at major stroke level. I was eventually medicated and labeled bi-polar after my extended family received news of my hospital stay. I was drugged out of my mind after this hospital stay. I some how found the will to live through the fog and was able to be released instead of being sent to a mental facility. I was told upon release that I needed out patient therapy. I also could not get my husband to tell me what happened over the 5 days because the doctors kept him away from me unless it was visiting hours during my ICU stay. If you would like to hear more please reply. I don't want to tie up this thread.
 
Hello Iloveart,

Thank you for the welcome and for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you did. I'm glad this is a place where people can find and share and support each other. Please share whatever else you feel like sharing... I would be glad to hear more.

A welcome to you as well as I see both of us are new here!

<Un-necessary quote above reply removed by Amethist>
 
Dear Julliete,

I'm sorry and horrified by what you have been through, but am also amazed and full of admiration at your strength and resilience.

Welcome to the forum and best wishes to you on whatever path you choose to follow.
 
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