Hello Everyone

[Nicolette730]

My, name is Nicolette and I am 24 years old. I happened to stumble apon this forum while searching for a way to explain triggers and what happens to my boyfriend. He dosn't get it and thinks that I am comparing him to my abusive ex-boyfriend and gets mad that I think he would do the same things. 5 years ago I was in an extremly abusive relationship where i was abused in all ways isolated and made to think I was just damaged goods. I didn't start to show sympthoms of PTSD until years later and am currently on my 6th therapist and still feel like they don't really want to help me I am having a lot of trouble and also struggle with sevral learning disabilites. I am currently taking Seroquel and Adivan. I wasnt going to sign up here at first but after reading through the sight I think that it is a great idea and at this point i will do anything that will help. I have struggled with relationships all along I really want this one to work but it just feels like it is falling apart at the seems.

Nice to meet you all,
Nicolette

 

[intothelight]

Hi Nicolette,

Welcome to the Forum. I hope that you find the information and support here helpful. If you are comfortable, it might be good to share the information in the Supporter section with your boyfriend. It is difficult enough for someone who has PTSD to understand it, and it is even more difficult for someone without it to understand; so find what helps you both.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[Smorck5]

Hi Nicolette,

I have this same issue with my husband although we have been together for a long time and he knows more of my triggers then I do...understanding why I have triggers and what he can do to help is hard for both of us.

Good luck!

~S~

< Web site address removed by Amethist>

 

[Nicolette730]

Thank you both for your replies, I am going to try and have hom read this. He is really frustrated right now thought and actually said to me out of anger today that being with me is to much home work and he dosn't want to do it. I can understand why he said that. I wouldn't want to deal with me right now either or do all the homework just to be with someone. So I think I will wait a couple of days before I throw another link in his face.
Thanks all

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi Nicolette, welcome to the forum.

I do not think that I will ever be in a place with my partner where I can give him a link or sit him down with a webpage and ask him to read it. To him, I think it is like giving him a text book and calling it my diary. It just isn't effective, motivating, interesting... helpful. BUT, through me reading and digesting various articles and webpages and then regurgitating that information to him in a very specific and personal way in little bits instead of giving a blow-by-blow of a ton of information and things to think about, he seems but more receptive.

For example, if he thinks that I am "living in the past" because of my symptoms and constant intrusive thoughts, instead of showing him an article about the psychosomatic effects of PTSD and the effects of reliving trauma, I can describe to him that it isn't that I am living in the past but that it is haunting me through dreams, uncontrollable memories, flashbacks, triggers--whatever, and I can do this in as much or as little detail as I feel is reasonable at the moment. So, I am a mediator between him and the information, and I as his partner can assess moment-to-moment if it is appropriate that he know something about me that is an effect of PTSD, not merely a defective attitude or outlook.

Does that make sense?

I hope you find support and healing here.

 

[Iam]

Just want to welcome you to the forum Nicolette. Glad you found it. Post as you feel comfortable. You will find not only acceptance, but support and understanding here. There is a lot of useful information on the wiki pages as well. Look forward to getting to know you :)

 

[Ron]

Welcome to the forum ! May you find inner healing here !:)

 

[Nicolette730]

Thank you all for your kind words! Every day is a struggle and I'm just trying to find a way to deal with it all!