I found this sight by accident. I was looking up alternative careers for former paramedics and I stumbled upon this. Me, almost 20 years in EMS before I left the field. I liked Fentanyl more than my job but thats ok, I am in a much better place now. Started off as a volunteer firefighter, then a paramedic shortly after, then a cop for a few years while I was a paramedic, then eventually got into flight medicine where I remained for awhile. Wasn't until about 4 years after leaving the field i started having nightmares, really bad and intense ones. Night tares, agorophobia, hyper alertness, insomia, startle reactions, paranoia, depression, severe mood swings and rage...intense and severe. Let's see, molested by a family member at 4 then again by friends of family member at 11. Started with alcohol in my late teens then couldn't stay away from narcotics in my 30s. Failed marriages, behavioral health units, rehab numerous times. Despite all of this I was still very successful. I left the field in 2009 and earned an associates in computer science and a bachelor's in business just a few months ago. Currently work in dialysis but pursuing jobs in implanted medical devices. Met a friend I used to run calls with and she described some of the same symptoms I experienced and still experience. My wife now is an amazing woman. A nurse of course with a master's in counseling. No, didn't pick her so she could fix me. She loves me despite my faults. She has helped me tremendously with changing my mindset which has brought about significant improvement but it still comes back and haunts me. Hoping I can learn, connect and continue to heal. People who have never done this kind of work don't really understand. I am looking forward to meeting new friends.
Much love ☺ Zezo105
Much love ☺ Zezo105
