Sufferer Hello Everyone!

[kxCobra]

Hello!

I'm not sure how to really go about this honestly. I was emotionally and verbally abused growing up by my Mother, and I guess that should diagnose me with Complex PTSD vs PTSD, but I've found my symptoms align more with PTSD than anything. I never really thought that I could be diagnosed with PTSD until I was talking about it with my Therapist yesterday. She described how she doesn't like to diagnose people since they tend to become labels more than anything in todays culture, but that if it would help me with validating that what I went through actually sucked a lot, and did actually happen, then she would be OK with it.

None of my symptoms are super intrusive I don't think. I dissociate a lot though, my mentality is always worse case scenario, and my hyper vigilance is through the roof. I honestly just assumed that those aspects were just a part of my personality, but after reading up on it and thinking about it I realize they are not. I also didn't realize that lethargy and chronic headaches were a sign of PTSD too, and I've been in and out of sleep studies and neurologist appointments for years now with no clear reason behind my excessive daytime sleepiness and headaches.

Anyways, I look forward to talking and healing with you all. Have a good day!

 

[Ronin]

Hi kxCobra,

PTSD is still PTSD; 'complex' or not just describes forms of the very same thing (being PTSD), they are not two different things. :)

Similarly, developmental trauma (as growing up) doesn't yet mean anything else about adulthood issues. It just is a specific to growing up set of issues.

That said, welcome. :) Have a good day, yourself.

 

[Morphius]

Hi, there and welcome!

To start off, I'm really sorry that you were emotionally and verbally abused by your mother -- someone who was supposed to love you, protect you and nurture you.

It would make sense that you would be diagnosed with PTSD. It's funny, because I asked my psychiatrist about the label Complex PTSD and she said there's no such thing. "It's like saying you're very sad compared to just being sad." They are one in the same and the "Complex" added in just describes the state of your PTSD. It's a term some therapists like to throw around because it could mean prolonged abuse. I'm not sure, though, I'm not a therapist myself but over five have told me Complex PTSD isn't a real diagnosis. PTSD is, though and there are all sorts of levels of PTSD. My therapist also says the same regarding diagnoses. She doesn't like giving her clients labels because often times and especially nowadays, people often focus too much on the label, allowing it to become their identity rather than just something they live with and should learn to manage. It's also unsafe and ill-advised to self-diagnose, because our brains can often resemble symptoms just after reading about them. I've learned a lot about psycho-education from my current therapist, it was really useful.

I'm in the same boat with you. My personality is "worst case scenario" and it's really irritating sometimes. I'm trying to find a way out of being like that. Dissociation is so common for those with PTSD or "C" PTSD. It's usually a sign of mental fatigue and exhaustion. It's usually our brain's protection mechanism. It happens to me a lot too, but less often recently. It's so tiring to be exhausted all the time, I understand.

I hope you find this community helpful and again, I'm really glad you came here and hope you find this community helpful. I'm rooting for your recovery! :hug:

PS: I keep a Dissociation journal. Maybe it could help you? I call it a dissociation journal because it's just like a regular journal, but more in lines with what I'm feeling and how my day went because of x and y PTSD symptoms. It helps keep track of everything you're facing and you can even show your therapist. Just an idea I'm sharing.

 

[Lagatha]

Hi kxCobra,
Welcome! I am recent to this forum myself, just want to say my heart goes out to you, and I can relate. I have been emotional/verbally abused by my parents growing up as well, and the symptoms seem vague as well, such as fatigue, emotional numbness, feeling worthless, insomnia, then sleeping too much during the day..well..you get it. Morphius is right- our parents are supposed to love, nurture and protect us- not the opposite. This sends our brains and our nervous systems out of whack and into overdrive, where sometimes they shut down. There are many good, informational articles on here to help understand our reactions, or lack there-of. I especially find the stress-cup-theory useful to illuminate why we feel so tired, why we even may over-sleep during the day, or just feel lasting day-time fatigue.

The PTSD Cup - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Explained

Also, I am glad that you found a therapist willing to validate your experiences, that is so so important. I am in the midst of working through things with a therapist as well..best of luck on your journey, I know it sucks, but we all have capacity to heal <3

 

[kxCobra]

Hi, there and welcome!

To start off, I'm really sorry that you were emotionally and verbally abused b...

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words! And yea, Complex PTSD is not in the DSM V yet and I doubt it will be. I tried to stay away from asking about diagnoses etc just because of what you brought up, self diagnose is dangerous. What kind of prompted me to go ahead and ask my Therapist about a diagnoses is that I honestly never know how to explain my childhood to my friends. Not that it is a conversation that I have on a daily basis, but it shaped me into who I am today, and since my symptoms are so invisible sometimes it is difficult to explain that I'm still affected by my Abuse even though things have gotten better between me and my parents.

 

[kxCobra]

Hi kxCobra,

PTSD is still PTSD; 'complex' or not just describes forms of the very same thing (being PTSD)...

Thank you, you have a good day too! :)

 

[kxCobra]

Hi kxCobra,
Welcome! I am recent to this forum myself, just want to say my heart goes out to you, and...

Thank you for the link! I will be looking into it right after this comment :) I'm sorry for your experiences as well, but I am glad that you are getting help and working through things :)

 

[Morphius]

And yea, Complex PTSD is not in the DSM V yet and I doubt it will be. I tried to stay away from asking about diagnoses etc just because of what you brought up, self diagnose is dangerous. What kind of prompted me to go ahead and ask my Therapist about a diagnoses is that I honestly never know how to explain my childhood to my friends.

I feel the exact same way! PTSD can be one of the most debilitating things to live with, because it's pretty much an invisible illness for lots of people. Not for everyone, but for a lot of people. It must be difficult not knowing how to explain your childhood to people, I'm sorry. Well, it must have shaped you, but from my perspective, you seem to have been shaped into a brave person! It seems like you want to get better, you're looking for support and comfort, etc. You're doing the right things. :hug: Not my only abuse, (unfortunately, there have been many forms of abuse I've gone through) but same here regarding abuse from parents. Things have gotten better between us, but still, events have shaped me into who I am and it still affects me. Based on what my therapist said, I think that's something that won't really ever change, but through therapy, we kind of learn how to cope with it all. Best of luck continuing!

 

[kxCobra]

I feel the exact same way! PTSD can be one of the most debilitating things to live with, because it's...

Yes!! And thank you! I really appreciate that! I'm sorry to hear about abuse from your end, it is tough because sometimes its really great with my mom, but she has one minor slip up and then I just want to run for the hills. And even minor slip ups aside, it feels like a betrayal to my own self to just run with the relationship and forget everything that has happened. I think at this point for us kids, the goal isnt to have a loving relationship, but to have a relationship where we feel comfortable and have our own boundaries. Anyways, thank you, again I really appreciate that! Good luck with your journey and healing! :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum! :hug:

It makes me sad to see that professionals are shying away from diagnosing someone. IMHO that is unethical, especially when dealing with something serious like PTSD. I mean would they not tell you if you were bipolar? Schizophrenic? What if a medical doctor refused to diagnose you with kidney failure or heart disease? It's the same in that knowing what you're dealing with helps you get on the right path toward healing. I think we've become too PC or perhaps don't want to hurt each other's feelings with the truth of the situation.

My PTSD is quite serious. It greatly affects my daily functioning. If I had a therapist who couldn't be real and honest with me, out the door I'd go, never to return.

There is power in truth. You cannot fight an unknown enemy.

 

[kxCobra]

Welcome to the forum! :hug:

It makes me sad to see that professionals are shying away from diagn...

Yea, I honestly think she stayed away from the diagnosis because she didn't want me become my diagnosis, but I am glad that we finally discussed it. I do agree with you that we tend to shy away from truth a little too often for my liking.

I'm sorry to hear about your PTSD though. My heart goes out to you, and I agree about the enemy. I actually really like that saying too, I might use that sometime :) Good vibes your way!

 

[EveHarrington]

Yea, I honestly think she stayed away from the diagnosis because she didn't want me become my diagnosis...

Thanks! :hug:

Most of the time I'm all for knowing the truth. I hate to sound like a total hypocrite but sometimes ignorance is bliss. I'm going through a rough time and doing a sort of isolating because facing reality is too much for me right now. I know the truth is out there, but I can't handle it right now. So I think if it's a step in the healing process and not somewhere you'll stay stuck, it's ok to not always know the full truth. It's only if not knowing the truth would cause more harm than good----then I'm all for the truth. (A diagnosis is one of those things I feel it's best to know, even if it hurts.) Sorry for rambling on so much! I'm a bit out of it.

Glad you're here on the forum! Having PTSD downright stinks but being here is great because you'll find tons of support and lots of info about PTSD (some things seem to be of a nature that you won't learn it in books or from professionals, but other sufferers will have insight into the issue not found elsewhere.)

:hug: