Hello, from SunriseHope

[SunriseHope]

Hi!
I feel very shy, so scared... I'm ice-cold, shaking and my teeth are chattering - yet I think I'm coming home. I'm disabled with PTSD, and to find a community of fellow sufferers... here come the tears....

I'm glad you're here. I've been reading your wonderful posts to each other, reading your resource articles, and it's giving me some hope. Thank you.
I'll write more, to tell you about myself... but for the moment, it's a big event to say "Hi" and to try to give you a quick summary.

I dissociate a lot.
Have been sexually abused since I was very little, and married a sexually and emotionally abusive man (sociopath, actually). I've not been able to leave him, yet. The articles on compliant victims fits me.

I'm a caregiver type. Very gentle, soft-spoken, love animals...
Am very isolated.
Living conditions are very abusive - I sleep in a tiny metal camper, with 2 space heaters and a sleeping bag. No plumbing, no appliances, no way to cook except I have a little electric kettle that I can boil water in. Last night it was -20 outside, not much warmer than that inside. I can't get warm. My husband sleeps in the warm house. I'm writing on a computer away from home. I take care of animals, and of course he keeps me frightened that he could hurt them or hurt me through them. I love them more than my own life.... I gave them a warm, insulated room that I can lock in the garage. I'm trying to make a spot where I can put my sleeping bag and join them - don't seem to have the energy to do that, yet. No one in our community has a clue, because my husband comes across as a wonderful person with a prestigious job.

Need to close, the office with the computer is closing for the day...

I feel pretty worthless and low, hope it's ok for me to join you....
.... SunriseHope

 

[Mina]

Welcome, SunriseHope :smile: I'm sorry to read of your difficult situation. May this be a place of support and good resources for you.

 

[LosFrida]

Welcome Sunrisehope. I am so sorry to read about your situation.

It's more then okay for you to join us:) I hope you find the support you're looking for.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Sunrisehope,

Welcome. I wish you help and healing to get out of your situation safely and for your protection and support.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[cragger65]

Sunrise, I could almost cry right now, I just know you will find support here from these wonderful ladies on the board. You are a kind a gentle soul, and deserve to have the same shown to you.

Welcome home,
Dave

 

[Luthien]

Welcome Sunrise.

You've definitely come to a wonderful supportive place. I'm so sorry to hear of your current situation. I can relate, though my circumstances were slightly different.

I hope you find what you need here, and that you're able get the help you need in the real world as well. We'll help you all we can.

You're in my thoughts.

 

[Leda]

Welcome to our forum.
I´m sorry too to hear about your troubled life. I hope everything will improve soon. And you must be a spesial person to choose such a hopeful nickname.

I´m sending you all my warmest thougths.

 

[fin]

Welcome Sunrise...
I am so glad to read that you are finding hope. If we can help here we will. There is so much in information and support...hoping it will help you, as it has and is helping me and others also.
never give up your hope sunrise
~fin

 

[SunriseHope]

Thank you for your healing welcome!

Thank you, (((((Mina, LosFrida, Junebug, Dave, Luthien, Leda, Fin...)))))

Thank you for your warm welcomes!

Your compassion and hospitality feels like warm sunshine in my spirit - I can't tell you how important and healing your words are.
Thank you.
Each person adds a unique spin that helps - I want to print out your words to keep at my bedside, to help me cope and to remember I'm not alone.

It's tough to admit, but I really need help, my situation is bad. My trauma counselor wants me to be around supportive, healing people as much as possible. I'm so thankful I found you.

Are there threads each one of you would recommend where I can get to connect with and get to know you?
I'll also try to find your blogs...
I'm looking forward to learning from you, healing with you, in this safe place.

Thank you for your comforting words - your compassion touches and eases pain...

I sure hope I can be a gift to you, as well!

with gratitude and respect,
SunriseHope

 

[fin]

hey SunriseHope,

I found when I first came I spent a lot of time reading. I dont know about which threads to recommend, as we are all at different places. There is INFORMATION where you first come in, outlining different aspects of PTSD, and then different threads - well reading you will find what you can relate to. And those threads and posts that give you the insight you may need to help you. There is a search thingy in the tool bar above...so you can search through to be able to find something particular. And FAQ's up there also.

We have all been in the place where you are now, and we are all at different points in moving forward Sunrise.

The thing is be yourself, and then people will be able to relate to who you are. And know how and in what ways they can help. And also you will learn the same about others. This is such an amazingly special and supportive place.

Write when and what you need to and the rest will come, welcome again Sunrise.

~fin

 

[teejaye]

Sunrise Hope,
I am inspired by your courage and strength. You have a rebelious spirit that can't be broken - coming here and all the other things you do that nourish you even though you are in a situation that is oppressive and stifling - that is clear evidence of how strong you are.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story.
-Tara