Hello, I'm New Here - Finished Second Iraq Tour

[jrod23gt]

Hi everyone,
My name is jay. Im 24 years old, recently completed my second tour in iraq (returned may08) and have then since been in a downward spiral. the doctors on my base have run all sorts of tests on me, even placed me on DNI - Do Not Issue (im an MP) and put me on different medications that just turned me into a zombie. Some really bad stuff went down during my second tour. though i was never wounded or severly injured, I had countless close calls. My mind so many times over, was braced and as ready as could be for the worst to happen, yet by some little miracle it never did. upon return home sleep became non existent, my mood changed several times a day, things that use to be important to me no longer were, and my ability to keep a relationship afloat deteriorated. The docs have tried everything on me, so I figured id give this a shot for myself. so I look forward to talking to you all, and nice meeting you.

 

[her_indoors43]

:hello:gday mate..

 

[rmf3175]

Hey, jay.

I'm fairly new here too, but so far I've found this site to be pretty helpful. I was a jarhead who served in Kuwait / Somalia in the 90's.

Thank you for your sacrifice.
Ryan

 

[Riggs413]

Welcome to the forum jrod.

There is a wealth of information here, try to read as much of it as you can.

 

[supergirl]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[cec]

Welcome,

As above, loads of experience and understanding here, jrod23gt. All the best.

cec

 

[Grama-Herc]

Welcome

First and foremost God Bless you and Thank you for your service to our country.

You will find a lot of military people here in varying stages who will be more than willing to help you.

Read, learn and most of all don't be afraid to ask for help

 

[Vickym]

Welcome to the forum Jay!

My bf served 2 tours in Iraq. He was retired at the age or 29! The things you are talking about with your mood changing is how he is. Before he recieved help he was even worse. Even now his sleep patterns are off. At times he goes a couple of days without sleep. Lots of nights while we sleep he is awake. He hasn't found a sleeping med that knocks him out yet. I think its because his body was conditioned to be awake for all the different missions he was on.

Hope you find some answers and support here!

 

[nickeldoor]

Hi Jay, welcome to the forum. There's a lot of information here, and please do not be shy to ask questions - no one is here to judge or criticize. Writing about your feelings will help tremendously. Express yourself freely and see if this works.

One thing you have to be wary of is that being on medication doesn't really help. When it comes to emotion or psychological problems, the only stuff that helps is believing in ourselves that we are good people and capable, and accepting our past.

I broke down mentally weeks ago, and I went to see a therapist. It was the first time in my adult life that I am seeing one. After that first session, i told myself that I could either see him for the rest of my life until i recover or I could take control myself. So I stop the depression medication immediately and seek other ways to help myself. The reason was I didn't want to be on medication because I knew how detrimental it was long-run. Also, I want to be independent emotionally and psychologically, as no one will be able to help me if I go down the drain again.

For now, why don't you try activities like sports, mental board games, or even shopping, volunteering with the homeless or find Iraq support group to talk and share experiences, it's never too healthy to bottom up your feelings. Well, just don't stay idle - cause our mind wouldn't stop thinking and it's best to stay on the positive side by helping others or you could just stay idle and flashbacks/traumas will keep haunting us.

Try different techniques - if you are short of one, ask the forum here. There are many people to help and listen. ;)

I wish you good luck in your self-recovery and do not be shy to put forward your feelings and thoughts. Remember, to live a full meaningful life - we must put down our baggage and walk proudly of our own life. You are still young and there's a lot for you to achieve, and there is no reason why the past should cloud your future.

~nickeldoor~

 

[patrick]

Hi jrod,

Welcome to the forum. I am a Vietnam vet and denied having PTSD for almost 40 years before I really flamed out. Have been in a bunch of treatment through the VA since last November, and it is making a world of difference. You say the docs have tried everything on you and nothing works. Has it just been different medications, or have you seen a counselor or therapist or psychologist? If you have PTSD, there will be come things you will need to deal with the meds won't take care of.

I gotta say my experience with meds has been different than nickeldoor's. I don't think I would be alive to write this today if it hadn't been for anti-depressants. Or if I was alive, I'd be drunk 24 hours a day. I think everybody experiences everything a little differently and while medications aren't for everybody, they can be helpful for some of us.

Good to see another war vet here. There is some really good stuff on combat PTSD in the information section of this forum. Some of it really helped me make sense of what I was going through for the first time in my life. I hope you find some help here, and that you can get something that works from the military. I gotta admit I never did, but I sure have gotten a lot of good help from the Veterans Administration.

Best of luck to you.

Pat

 

[nickeldoor]

Jay, I agree with Pat that medication helps a lot, and if you decide that it will help you maintain a decent lifestyle, please go ahead and do so. Sorry if I was downplaying the situation, but I do hope that you will lead on a life of proud moments and not letting all the negative aspects of PTSD deter you from doing so.

Blesses ;)
~nickeldoor~

 

[lightbringer]

hello Jay..
im new to this myself & just feel i want to say that no matter what we each have experienced in life , its no better or worse than another & our life is all equally as important... in other words wr all count &we all make a difference & that includes you..how to find solutions ?? we all have to finda way to go forward i guess , not always so easy when those flashbacks grab & emotions take over. i hate wen history intrudes in the present but it all becomes a blurr & today gets lost... any way im in waffle zone but guess it will be understood.