I turn 24 this sunday, about a year ago I got the diagnose PTSD. I have had it most of my life but due to a disfunctional family I never got any help until I met my partner and his family five years ago. Then I was diagnosed with depression, sleepingdisorder and anxiety...A year ago I changed doctor and finally got a diagnos that explained and gave everything a connection. The change that I have been able to do as a person becouse of this knowledge is amazing...I have been able to find tools to get some controll over my own life. But yes, it is still a life that have it's downfalls and ups.
I still miss alot, in particular I constantly realize that I'm losing memories good and bad. It's a frightening feeling to feel that I and my life slowly is erased...even things that have never been near traumatic. I see pictures from events and I cant remember, my partner and his family and our friends talking about memories I should be able to share but that I can not relate to, as if the "me" they are talking about is a stranger I never even heard about. In my life I have few clear memories, most bad...and of the good ones.. most are from the last two years...and even some of them is starting to fade. In those situations I often don't tell that I cant remember...it hapens to often and I just feel so lost when it happens. I try so hard to remember...but nothing. At a most I can have a feeling..but that feeling is from hearing about events and not from the real event. It makes me feel heartles.
I waiting for a appointment to discuss if there is something to do...and I hope there is.
I still have sleeping problems with night terrors and problems falling in sleep and stay sleeping. At most I sleep 5 h/night.
I have never been at a forum like this, but it looks like it has alot to give.
I'm from Sweden, I'm not that good at writing in english but I hope you all understand what I am trying to say.
I still miss alot, in particular I constantly realize that I'm losing memories good and bad. It's a frightening feeling to feel that I and my life slowly is erased...even things that have never been near traumatic. I see pictures from events and I cant remember, my partner and his family and our friends talking about memories I should be able to share but that I can not relate to, as if the "me" they are talking about is a stranger I never even heard about. In my life I have few clear memories, most bad...and of the good ones.. most are from the last two years...and even some of them is starting to fade. In those situations I often don't tell that I cant remember...it hapens to often and I just feel so lost when it happens. I try so hard to remember...but nothing. At a most I can have a feeling..but that feeling is from hearing about events and not from the real event. It makes me feel heartles.
I waiting for a appointment to discuss if there is something to do...and I hope there is.
I still have sleeping problems with night terrors and problems falling in sleep and stay sleeping. At most I sleep 5 h/night.
I have never been at a forum like this, but it looks like it has alot to give.
I'm from Sweden, I'm not that good at writing in english but I hope you all understand what I am trying to say.
