Hello

[Rydia]

Hi, I'm so glad I found this place.
I had a bad childhood, I spent most of my life being depressed and making bad choices. Then I met my boyfriend who I have been with for seven years, and he totally changed my life. I stopped being depressed and I felt like my new, happy life was just beginning. Then two years ago, I became terrified of everything. I feel like my body remembers some kind of sexual abuse, but my mind refuses to remember (and that is PERFECTLY okay with me). My boyfriend doesn't know how to help me. It nearly cost our relationship, and we're still together, but we're complicated. I'm working with a therapist. I've given up on having close friends and I can't completely trust anyone, sadly, not even my boyfriend anymore. I just need to feel understood and I would like to help someone feel understood too. That's all that I want to say for now, thanks for reading this.

 

[Zemi]

Hi Rydia, I hope you find some of the understanding you want so much through being here :) For now it might be hard with close friends but hopefully as you keep working with your therapist and working on other things yourself that will change and you'll be able to trust more including with your boyfriend. Could you suggest he reads here as well with the supporters area to help him understand more?

 

[Rydia]

Wow Zemi, thanks so much for the fast response, that meant a lot just now. My boyfriend doesn't like forums very much, but I will try telling him about it.

 

[Zemi]

Your welcome Rydia :) I hope he will take a look even if he doesn't like forums, it might help him to know how to support you and also be a support to him; which in turn would help you as well. Just read that back and it sounds a little tongue-twisterish :)

 

[Ron]

Thanks for sharing!:)

 

[Kintsugi]

Welcome to the forum, Rydia. I too hope you find some understanding here. PTSD is tough on relationships. I have dealt with pretty consistent symptoms in all of my relationships and am just now sorting out that I wasn't just defective or they weren't defective. I just was not going through a normal adolescent phase of development. It was PTSD.
Good luck! Keep posting.