Hello

[wee dely]

Hello I'm a newbie to this site. I have suffered sexual abuse as a child from the age 10 upwards at the hands of a family member that I was susposed to trust. I recently got dignosed with PTS and suffer from panic attacks.

I keep having flashbacks about what has happened to me and flashbacks that I have no memory off... I am finding it very difficult to function today, just want to crawl into bed and sleep but that never happens because of the nightmares. I had a flashback today but I was about 4 years old in the flashback I don't understand, I have no memories before the age of 9... What does this mean? Did the abuse start before the age of 10 but I just dont remember, I am so confused at the minute....

I can have a good day and then it all hits me again like a ton of bricks and I feel I am back to square one...

My mind never stops going round and round in circles!!!

 

[SydneyH]

Hi dely - welcome. I am also a newbie, and I hope you get as much from this group as I have so far.

Like you, my memories of abuse start at about age 9, and I have confused (and even conflicting) images that come back to me from that time. I am trying to just accept that, as a kid, I processed incidents in an incomplete and even illogical way. It is a struggle, but there are so many brave people in this community. Makes me believe I can continue making progress. I'm sure you can, too.

P.S., cute dog! Hope (s)he gives you much love!

 

[cherryblossom]

Welcome to the forum Dely :)

 

[Lionheart]

Welcome to the forum,

I am also a survivor of child sexual abuse and have disabling PTSD. For me, there was no other way to heal than to take medication and dedicate myself to long-term therapy, but I don't regret it for one second...it is the best decision I ever made. I hope you will have the same success that I have enjoyed in overcoming abuse and it's after-effects.