This place is kind of last resort for me, I have been to mental health, been committed by my own choice, talked to this person, talked to that person, been to church, and well nothing is working. I've been on so many meds I don't even remember the names to half of them. Now that I am on my way out I am really scared, because outside of the military I really don't have anyone.
SimpleScout, first of all welcome to the forum mate, feel safe in knowing that we are all veterans here and all know exactly how you feel. PTSD or 'The Beast' as we call it is exactly that, an untamed Beast. You say you have been to mental health, talked to this person, talked to that, etc,etc, well for some bad news, your going to have keep going and talk to more people and take more medication until you learn to tame it.
It gets easier my friend, it really does, but like anything good in life, it does not come easy. I used to use this analogy for people so hear me out.
Treat PTSD like surfing. When you first start out you are all over the place, sometimes you just ride the waves in on your stomach, and then gradually as you feel comfortable you try to stand up. Sometimes people can stand straight up, others and the majority usually end up underwater before the wave has even formed properly. You get dumped and suck in lung fulls of water, get your feet and body cut by coral or rocks and have the wind knocked out of you, but you keep going because you want that feeling.
Eventually with lots of practice, you can manage to stand up and hold your own all the way into the shore, not every wave though, you still miss the odd one here and there, but it's so much easier.
You never get complacent though, because there is always that monster of a wave that will kick your arse no matter how good you are.
Your journey is just beginning mate, you can't deal with all your nightmares and traumas while your still wearing the uniform as it is a subconscious reminder whether you think so or not.
Once your out you will still have to go to therapy and might still have to be on medication, and medication and therapy are similar, you have to find the right combination of meds and the right therapist for you.
My first therapist was a lady in her 60's, when I first went to her I had my ears closed but then I realised I actually felt comfortable around her. She had been 'volunteering' her time for 10 years just to help returning veterans. She wasn't my first though. Sometimes you will get lucky and find one straight up, sometimes you won't.
The same goes with medication. What works for me might not work for you, and some people after a while might not need medication at all. You have to ask questions and try different ones. As guys on here what they are on and research.
We will help you every step of the way but you have to help yourself first. Have a read of the following links mate, they might help.
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And watch this video, it's based around Vietnam Vets, but PTSD related to combat is the same no matter what conflict you fight in.
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Think about people with diabetes or asthma, they live a life where they have to watch what they eat, watch where they go, some take regular injections, some are on medications for their whole life, but they still live mate.
Good luck mate.
