Help! Anxiety Still Uncontrolled
Hello Skyp56 - first of all I send a prayer through the night, carried by angels who will cloak you with a deep calm, so close your eyes & imagine them drawing away all that anxiety and leaving you feeling peaceful.
We all walk or, have walked at least part of your journey. I have felt that rampaging anxiety that will not stop, it is so lonely, exhausting and it so sucks. So I can walk a little way with you.
Remember, in your quest for calm there is a key, to finding something that will help or, maybe a combination that will at least quiten down these feelings. Those keys are what has already been suggested and as with everything, it might take some time for you to find the right thing to do and don't forget to practice. Don't try something just once, keep trying what appeals to you, give it a good go before you discard the idea.
I started drawing a while back. I was walking past a shop selling pencils, charcoal pencils and stuff. I just bought them, I don't know why, I am not a drawing sort of person, and I cannot even spell craft...if you get my meaning. But at that time, I was in a period of sustained rage and anxiety. I started messing about with what I had bought, using dark colours, red, black.... and really angry pictures some more like scribbles, words, numbers, dates that things happened to me, anything that fell out of my mind I let out, I let it all fall out on the page. Things that I could never describe in words. There was something in the process that helped me slow down, my breathing slowed down, my thoughts slowed down, my rage and anxiety was thrown down and nobody got hurt in doing it. I don't know how but it slowed down my anxiety.
My 'rage' book is shown to noone, it is hidden. I can I do it when I am alone but if I cannot, I do it where I can and noone is allowed to look in it.
I had trouble starting....like what to draw, but then I convinced myself it did not matter what I drew, these were not pictures that had to look nice, these were venting pictures of things that come from that dark place where my anxiety, anger, sadness and all those things that I struggle with comes from. My drawings or whatever they are called is something I can control. I found it helped me let go of my feelings and scream it out on the page.
It also helps when I feel hopless and out of control to look back at other 'dark' days in my book. And then I remember surviving those days because I must have - because well there is this picture of when I was out of control...I write the dates at the bottom of the pages
.
The other thing that has helped me enormously is that I am medicated, really medicated. I have three doctors supervising me and my drug regime. It took years but finally the right 'balance' was found. Never expect a 'magic' cure from them, but they took me from a hospital bed to coping on my own most of the time. So maybe, if you feel you are at that stage, find yourself a good psychiatrist and start the journey with that kind of help. Just a word on the doctor idea, be honest and, if you don't trust the doctor find another. I had to, so there is no shame in terminating their services if you find yourself walking out more confused than ever. Trust is the key.
Anyway these are a couple of my ideas. I hope that amongst all the suggestions already given that something will help and if they don't, come back and keep asking because there is sure to be something that someone has tried and suceeded with. Maybe finding a short term fix like, a piece of music on a Mp3 player....carry it in your bag for those moments when the anxiety hits you side-ways.. or.a movie that you love and that you can watch and escape with.The slowling down your breathing is so important try and master that because once you have, you can use it anywhere. Don't be too hard on yourself, remember to be good to yourself. I hope you feel better soon and your head quietens down.
Go well,
Kind regards
blackemerald1
