Help For My Veteran Brother

[Alyssa Wright]

Hello,

I have a brother who is turning 30 in April. He has been out of the military for about 5 or 6 years. He was deployed to Iraq and spent a year and then was medically discharged for severe migraines.

When he returned, he went straight into the typical PTSD symptoms. Depression, severe anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and avoidance behaviors. Throughout the years he has made tremendous strides from being locked in his room for days to actually coming out and talking with the family. From avoiding any human contact to attending community college and taking courses.

However, he has not been able to be sustainable after all of this time. He refuses to ask for help, i.e. see a therapist or anyone that he could actually get professional help from. He continues to live in my parent's house, with no job, smokes weed on the daily, and refuses to forget the hard life he has lived. Although I can understand his pain, it seems to be time for him to overcome his childhood trauma from my parents and peers as well as take a step in healing from the military.

I am in school to be a social worker and unfortunately, it's very hard to try and help your own brother. I am asking that if anyone knows how to motivate, empower, or have any resources that I can find in order to help him get help. Otherwise, I feel that once he turns 30- things will end completely, meaning his life will be over. And I can't deal with that. So please, any help is wanted/needed.

Thank you,
Alyssa

 

[Sandra]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Hello Alyssa and welcome.

It must be a real strain on your family that your brother is denying he needs help. Self medicating with 'weed' only creates more problems IMO. :(

An antidepressant could help with motivation but as he wont go and ask for help perhaps you could discuss your concerns with your parents and then make an appointment for you to see your GP and see if he would make a house call. You are right, it will be very difficult for you to help your brother directly, especially at this stage.

What area are you from by the way?

 

[Alyssa Wright]

I am from Illinois, suburbs of Chicago.

My parents are well aware of the situation. It's at a point where they don't know what to do and in a way, they are at the root of these problems so they themselves don't want to admit that they do have responsibility for why my brother is the way he is. Because of that they almost throw the "he needs to get over it" card at him instead of really admitting he has deep issues that stem and continue with them and other things.

 

[Ruth09]

Its going to be tough. I didn't want to seek help until I reached my limit of dealing with PTSD. I had to reach that limit on my own. His limit might be jail.

He's your brother, he's your family. But, he is also a grown man.

If he was discharged for migraines, did he file for his medical benefits from Veteran Affairs?

If he doesn't want to seek help from Veteran Affairs, he might consider a Vet Center.
[DLMURL]http://www2.va.gov/directory/guide/facility.asp?ID=5046[/DLMURL]

Have you searched for a Vet Center?

Chicago Vet Center

7731 S. Halsted Street
Chicago, IL 60620-2412

Phone: 773-962-3740 Or 877-927-8387
Fax: 773-962-3750

Normal working hours are 8:00am to 4:30pm Mon-Fri.
Its free to Combat Veterans. He may need a DD 214 to apply, though. You can call them.

 

[Alyssa Wright]

He did file for benefits. He's getting a lot of support. They classified him as about 90-95% disabled.

He tried the VA and they are not treating him like they should there. Are VET Centers different? How so?

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Ruth09]

I don't know about the one in Chicago, but the the one in my city is ran by combat veterans.

So, when they talk to you, it's more peer-to-peer. And not the BS you can get from some of the jerks at a VA hospital.

However, they only offer counseling. So, any medication would still have to be provided by the VA hospital.

 

[Alyssa Wright]

Good to know. Thank you, I'll look into it.