Help me Please, I Need Some Advice...

[Lionheart]

I lost the woman I loved because she kept triggering my main core PTSD trigger and I am just now realizing it. The Love relationship ended days ago and the friendship ended today.

It has been a very emotional and painful day for me, because not only was this woman very unforgiving, judgmental, and overly critical of me, but I stood and took it day after day for quite some time.

I gave her all of my love and devotion and remained faithful to her....(even though she lived 2000 miles away and there was never any physical contact).

My problem is that I don't know what to do with my feelings, ya know? I feel like such a fool for not seeing the truth. I think I must have had "easy target" tattooed on my forehead.

I hurt so bad, feel so depressed, and now I am afraid to think of ever entering into another relationship again. Could someone offer me some advice or perhaps, just post your wisdom and experience please?

Thank you.

 

[supergirl]

Lion,
I hope you know that you have had a huge breakthrough because of this. You have figured out what NOT to look for in future relationships. I know you are in pain right now. I feel for you.
Take care.
SG

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't believe you were foolish, I believe you were genuine. One feeling you needn't give credence to is self-blame or self reproach, for that.

My mom once said to me, "Anyone can see how you are. The key is to recognize someone who values it."

All I know is, I heard today good guidance: "Each step (no matter how small) taken with hope."

Hugs to you :Hug_emoticon:

 

[2quilt]

I hope you feel better today. Do something nice for yourself; you are hurting right now and need comfort.

 

[Lionheart]

Thanks everyone! I have an update: It seems that my ex-girlfriend, (who knew what my core ptsd trigger was), was triggering that core issue and then giving me Hades for my reactions....on purpose!

I had been speaking with my therapist about this relationship for the past 6 months and he told me today that he suspects she has narcissistic personality disorder. As to why some people get their kicks from doing this kind of thing to others, I can only guess. I would suppose it is to satisfy some sick, twisted need they have.

Still, I did not deserve to be emotionally and psychologically re-victimized by that woman.

I have broken all ties with her and I am getting myself back in the game, a little wiser and more prepared for a new and healthier relationship. I am totally grateful to all of you who have supported and encouraged me since I have become a member here.

:Hug_emoticon:

~Lewie~

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Lewie,

I can only guess somehow it served her to not have to address her own issues.
Either way sounds very complicated and challenging to deal with. Very sad.

Hang in there. To choose to be treated kindly and with respect and care is a healthy choice, too.

 

[pebbels]

Good on you Lionheart,:clap:All the best for your future and i agree with what supergirl has said, YOU will know for the next one.:thumbs-up Every one deserves to be treated with respect.:smile:

pebs