Help sexual dis-function

[Valarie]

I am starting this thread because I cant be the only one. I have been married for 16 years I am only 36 years old, female, and I just dont think about sex. Intimacy nothing, I remembered about a month ago being molested when I was around 10, god only knows what else I have blocked out?!
Regardless, How do I get my sex drive back, or even boosted a little. This isnt fair to him.

 

[EveHarrington]

Therapy. Please seek out professional help.

...but, what about what’s fair to you?

 

[Swift]

I read a really good book called "Healing Sex", it gave me a lot of tools/strategies in a relationship with a partner where they wanted sex, I wanted to have it, but I didn't know how.

 

[digger]

@Valarie please log in to your account to reply. Thanks.

 

[Valarie]

Eve - Im actually ok, and want a healthy normal marriage, and I know it wont be "normal", but I want to at least say I tried as best as I could. I am unsure where to get Psychological help as I really cant afford it, any website you know of?

Swift - Thank you for the reply Ill give that book a try

 

[EveHarrington]

I don’t think you want to just read what you can get off of a website. Sexual trauma can be incredibly complex.

Now you’re in a numb state of sorts. Trying to go it alone could flip you 180, meaning you’re emotionally flooded big time and functioning crashes to zero for an extrnded period of time.

This is why I suggest professional help to guide you through it.

It’s not the easy peasy process you’re thinking it will be.

 

[Valarie]

it's more than just sexual trauma it's also severe emotional abuse from my family, most recent is they haven't spoken to me in a year, and my father passed away in June and they didn't tell me. i do feel numb, and i understand it is going to be a long very hard process, I'm honestly scared.

 

[Mach123]

I am starting this thread because I cant be the only one. I have been married for 16 years I am only 3...

It's so nice that you are concerned about him. We all started out, it's really hard. No you're not the only one but it manifests in so many ways and everyone has an individual experience, especially when sexual trauma is involved. I agree with @EveHarrington, someone to talk to would be very important now? Be gentle with yourself and, be careful. There is plenty of material here to give you ideas.