Supporter Here but exhausted

[Notbuiltforthis]

Hi / my spouse has PTSD and transition disorder. Diagnosed a few years ago he has received treatment and was doing well until recently where he’s struggling more then ever. Hyponania, completely not himself. Spending all our money and cannot cope with any normal life task. I feel as though I am babysitting my 42 year old husband. He’s not sick enough to be in hospital but not doing well just trying to cope at home. No idea where to go for help in this middle ground and I’m about to lose my mind. I cancel all plans and am completely isolated and the house is not eggshells, it’s glass. I’m verbally abused daily and cannot take much more. He is seeking help however there is no instant fix. Going on several weeks now. Has anyone seen this through and on the other side? How can I salvage my marriage or can I even?

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum, sorry about the reasons that bring you here.

Before anything else: Are you safe? If not, your safety is the absolute priority. Everything else — coping, healing, helping someone else — depends on that foundation.

As all-consuming as his illness feels, your well-being matters just as much. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Support networks — whether friends, family, professionals, or communities like this one — are going to be so important as you navigate this. Leaning on others is a strength, not a weakness.

Glad you found us:)

 

[PlainJane]

Welcome :)

 

[parrotthepolly]

I have some similar symptoms to your husband, hypomania every other day and mayyyybe verbally abusive and defense at certain subjects.

Is he fully aware of the effects of his actions?This puts things into perspective.

 

[arfie]

hello notbuilt. welcome to the forum. venting is the best remedy i have found for ptsd exhaustion. vent on, good buddy, vent on. i have been on both sides of the ptsd help desk and i find the supporter side to be the harder of the two sides. when i am in episode, myself, i have staffs of professionals feeding me all the good drugs. as a supporter, i feel alone, abused and neglected by all. does anyone even care about the caregiver?

in my 45 year marriage, i am the identified patient, but i wonder often if hub-a-lub suffers secondary ptsd from being supportive of my recovery. it has been a rough ride for him with no staffs of professionals to help understand wtf is going on. when i have to slap away his efforts to make me his number one fix-it project, i often wish he would get help in giving help.

separations have been our saving grace. backed with a shared commitment to, "hold the love sacred," the times of living separately gave each of us time to work on our own issues. a healthy relationship requires two healthy participants.

but that is us and every case is unique. marriages are even more unique.

steadying support while you sort your own. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

welcome aboard.

 

[Notbuiltforthis]

I have some similar symptoms to your husband, hypomania every other day and mayyyybe verbally abusive and defense at certain subjects.

Is he fully aware of the effects of his actions?This puts things into perspective.

He’s not living in reality right now so no

Welcome to the forum, sorry about the reasons that bring you here.

Before anything else: Are you safe? If not, your safety is the absolute priority. Everything else — coping, healing, helping someone else — depends on that foundation.

As all-consuming as his illness feels, your well-being matters just as much. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Support networks — whether friends, family, professionals, or communities like this one — are going to be so important as you navigate this. Leaning on others is a strength, not a weakness.

Glad you found us:)

Physically safe? I think so. However I am verbally abused daily and I’m about to crack

 

[parrotthepolly]

He’s not living in reality right now so no

It's not really as simple as that, if he's agreeing to get prof help it's a big step.
Sounds like behaviour therapy might be beneficial.

Try telling him the consequences but depends on how bad it is, there could be a middle ground between the coping and healing.