I'm sorry to bring up such an old post, but had kind of a light bulb moment while reading it, and maybe it might help others. These kinds of behaviors affect many people with ptsd (combat and non-combat related).
I’m also guilty of revisiting unsettling garb associated with a bad period of time. The following is a strange link, but stay with me.
You know how as women, we feel a need for a change in hair style, clothing type, … just ‘feel’ the need for a change or to evolve some how, but unsure where this evolution is taking us. Many of us end up looking back to the past – like reinventing that person we once were, with a modern twist; like when old hair styles coming back in style, except just a little ... different. :alien:
With ptsd, at various times afterward, we get that evolve sensation, but unsure where it is taking us. We revisit garb associated with troubled times in our life. The ‘things’ like clothing, trinkets, anything from that time – our mind is trying to reinvent that person because were ARE stronger now, and maybe we (or maybe it is just me?) feel like we want to impart this stronger person into that hurt person we were – part of the grieving process, and feeling bad for that hurt person, and wanting very much to help them (us, ourself – the past self).
Maybe it is like trying to impart our current strength into our past self through those ‘things’; retro-evolution on a new level. Of course we can’t heal our self retroactively, but that doesn’t stop us from trying.
We don’t have this insight while we are doing it; kinda like how I can do calculus without really understanding it. We go through life doing things without understanding why we are doing them. It can get out of hand if we take it too far. Without understand why we are doing it, we get discouraged when 'it' (whatever it is we are doing) isn't working. Maybe in the back of our mind, we are failing to 'help' our past self, and fall apart emotionally all over again.
This is only an idea, trying to put a positive face to these things.
