Relationship Hi A Bit Of An Update

[hopelives]

Hey guys

Well after a lot of thinking last week. I decided to leave my husband and start a new life. I was in the middle of preparing things financially and emotionally for me and the kids to leave.

Well in the middle of that we had a national disaster in our area in QLD Australia. We had massive floods. Water came very close to our home and we couldn't get out and we had little food and no power. It was actually extremely scary and I was so so concerned for the kids. My husband at first expressed no interest and actually was quiet off hand about it.

But something happen he stepped up and did all the cooking as he said he could make it go further. So I stepped back. Than he moved to sleep up here with me as he wanted to be near me to keep us safe just in case someone tried to break in. Also he spent a lot of time with us as there was no power therefore no computer. By day 3 we finally had power so I assumed things will go back to normal. well no. He sat with me and explained he wants to sleep with me up here at night and get up in the mornings and he also wants to spend evenings with me meaning from 5pm onwards he will help get kids ready for bed and by 7pm when they go to bed we will have time together.

Now I was like yeah (Ive heard it all before so I was really not excited). He got a bit upset but I explained what had happen in the past. That turned into a massive talk where a lot of things were said and resolved.Some things will take time but that is ok.

He also started to work his home business again in the mornings. Small but massive steps.

We are both so much happier and also we are negotiating which is something we haven't done for a bit. HE IS HELPING - THAT IS HUGE. (Sorry Im shouting.lol)

I am so proud of him and he knows it. I really have hope this is a bit change. He hasn't slept in the same bed as me for 4yrs so to be that close is so important for me. :)

Thanks for all the support I got and I am now planning not to leave but to use the money I have put away to actually take our family somewhere special soon when all this disaster is over.

 

[Jawn]

That's great sickofit! I'm very happy for you.

Jawn

 

[Nicolette]

Wow! I'm happy for you & hope you stay safe with all which is happening in QLD.

Sounds to me it is now important to keep the lines of communication open & accept small steps as big one like you have as 4 years of habits don't change over night. Good luck to you all.

 

[ISupportHer]

It is so great to read this update! I am speechless and sitting here with a big smile.

ISH

 

[NIKI]

Wonderful news!! I pray for you that things only get better and better!!!! Sometimes with all the things going on in our busy lives we forget to communicate with each other. It's was a blessing in disguise that you had no power and were actually forced to communicate. :)

 

[amethist]

Wow sickofit.

As I read the first line on your first post of this thread, my heart sank, with the words "No not another collapsed relationship because of this damn illness."

Then I kept reading, and the heaviness lifted. So happy that he stepped in and helped with the food, kids and stayed by your side through this.

It may be a long while before you can truly say your are over the worst of it all, but he has made those first steps forward. But the first hurdle is now conquered, he came to you and the kids when you needed him most.

Take care, and take it slowly both of you.

Amethist

 

[hopelives]

Well today has been good. We have a long way to go but heck we are on the move. He is up here as promised and Im stoked. :) He is making plans and including his illness in there. So not setting himself up for failure. I am so excited and happy. But I am also not looking for him to fail. I am jsut taking each step as it comes.

Such a change from where we have been. :)

 

[valdoodle]

It was good to read your post because so much of what you have been writing is familiar to me....and it is easy to take the rejection personally. My partner and I are living in an emotionless vacuum at the moment - but he is still here and beginning to talk to me again.... but I don't know how to get out of the empty void. Good luck and a big hug to you ,,,, baby steps. ;)

 

[KP the nut]

Congratulations, good luck for the future.
Love
KP

 

[CestMoi]

I know I'm uber new here but I have been reading a lot of posts. When I read a reply you posted, it referenced your situation so I was curious about your situation and thus, have been reading your posts. Seeing this one is so great. I am so happy for you. I know I do not know you at all but like amethist, I thought it was going to be bad news at first. Then, as I read it, I just smiled. I am so glad... it just goes to show that sometimes out of the worse situations, come the best solutions. :) Best of luck to you and your family! :) So happy for you!

 

[hopelives]

We have been through 8yrs of really hellish pain. I am so happy that I am starting to get the marriage I deserve. That we deserve. We are working through pain that will take time to fully go but that is finally been recognised. Yes time has been wasted but right now at this moment life is starting.

His PTSD is there but we are acknowledging like respecting its existance. knowing it's limits and than working around it.

It is a stange feeling but is is like the PTSD is not the main event. It is there but we are focusing on us. This is huge progress because as most that have read my posts I am a very passionate person.lol I also am acknowledging my limits and not pushing myself to do more than I can.

We will see. But the communication walls are open.

 

[Iam]

That is fantastic news Sickofit!!!! I am so happy for you.