Hi All, Fiancee Has Ptsd

[Army_Brat_88]

I know for myself, when I start my whining, I try to revisit the story on the Isrealites. God took care of them, and they made it more difficult on themselves by not just going with it, and instead complained and whimpered the whole way. You will take it personally because you are human and you have feelings and needs. That won't change, what will change is *HOW* you choose to act once you see those feelings and acknowledge them. Will you get upset and wallow? Probably, but how *LONG* will you wallow. 5 minutes? An hour? A day? And once you've wallowed, what exactly was accomplished?

Many get depressed wondering if it will change or get better. That's nothing "special" with your fiancee. Appriciate the good days or moments all you can.

 

[living4jesus]

You are so right! What does worrying or being depressed or emotional or constantly crying accomplish. Nothing at all. Thank you! I have definitly been working on getting better at not wallowing in sadness. And now that I see and feel that I am not the only person who feels this way it makes it a little bit easier.

I am going to read that story on the Isrealites tonight as well. That is a good lesson. I should just let go and let God.

I get depressed wondering when things will get better or change, and I always worry about when will we be married or in a house together, especially when it feels like he is pushing me away. But like you said, I need to take the fact that he loves me and leave it at that. And your right, we don't want to start a marriage with so many issues. I am sure in God's time it will happen. But when I get down I pray alot and read the bible! That helps me quite a bit. But it gets hard for me to pull myself together when I have friends and family that just don't understand what he goes thru and how hard it is on him and they get on me about it. It is hard when friends and family do not understand and say things like "how long are you going to wait for him ". :( I would wait forever for him because I love him unconditionally.

I will continue to appreciate the good days because I love him so much and I know that God will get him and me thru this. :inlove:

You really have been such a big help to me today AB I really appreciate it:)

 

[living4jesus]

I have been thinking about it and I think my biggest problem is that I value my self worth on our relationship. So if he is all lovey dovey to me then I feel great and I am so happy , and if he is distant to me and hardened then I start picking myself apart and trying to figure out what I could do to change the situation. I need to work on that for sure. :unsure:

 

[Army_Brat_88]

Well, you can always do self evaluation for how you can change - regardless of who it revolves around. Just be careful of the lengths you'll go through. That's what so many on this site are struggling with I think, what will and won't be tolerated - and how much of it. I'm at that point currently. There does need to be a line, but if he's trying, then just remain calm with that knowledge. You can judge your self worth, you have to just be you. He's still with you, so you must be doing SOMETHING right! :) If he doesn't nip at you with things you're doing/don't doing, then don't give him a reason to start either. It's a fine line with all this - everyone should tolerate only so much before it is actually harmful.

Everyone on here with a combat issue has the dreaded "how long will you wait for them" question by people who care. It's a tough thing, that's for sure. But don't listen to anyone else around you. Go with what you believe you are lead to do from inside. I've taken to not talking about it with anyone in my life, only ppl on this site. That way it avoids me having to do a lot of explaining, or a lot of listening! It's between him and you really, not anyone else.

Remember he's battling the deamon within. It's nothing to do with you, so try not to take it as such.

 

[MsPositive40]

Hello livingforJesus,

I know exacly how you feel because I am also going through the same thing, my BF just broke up with me about 2 weeks ago, he says I deserve someone that can love me and give me all that I deserve, that killed me inside because I know he Loves me and I adore him.

I just spoke to him last night for about 3 hours we havent spoke for 2 weeks and it felt so good just to hear his voice, I let him know that I love him and that I wil be here for him always! I dont wanna get my hopes up to high, but at least we spoke on the phone!

Lets keep Strong :tup:

 

[living4jesus]

Remember he's battling the deamon within. It's nothing to do with you, so try not to take it as such.

You are so right about this AB, Thanks again:)

 

[living4jesus]

MsPositive40
I am praying for you, I know how you feel its like an emotional rollercoaster. Keep your head up :)

 

[MsPositive40]

Thank you living4jesus!
I am praying for all of us on this Forum, It does feel like an emotional rollercoaster, but we have to stay strong.:tup:

 

[living4jesus]

Right on and Amen MsPositive

 

[living4jesus]

l4j -You are definately not alone. Do a search on this site for "combat ptsd", and you'll have material to read for days on end. It will not give you answers on what to do necessarily, but you can see you're not the only one to be on an emotional roller coaster.

Thank you AB I am doing searches on this site now and I am currently reading another book called PTSD: A Spouse's Perspective- by Erica David. It is a really good book! I recommend it to anyone that is a supporter. And I ordered the book "Once a Warrior Always a Warrior" as you suggested.

I also have always had anxiety issues and I think this emotional rollercoaster of being a supporter makes my anxiety worse as well.