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Deleted member 24908
So a quick blurb obo mnje:
I have at least one personality disorder and I'm pretty sure I'm Bipolar NOS, and I know I have very mild PTSD from an incident in 08/09; very frankly, I'm ashamed to say what it is after reading these threads. ): Although you guys have me wondering if what I thought was Shame OCD is actually PTSD flashbacks, although I'm in no position to see a therapist right now, so I guess I won't know for a while.
Actually, yes I was abused as an older child into teen (about 8 or so to 17) by my older sister and mother, and I have gotten some from my grandmother, but not nearly like those two, and I can deal with that. Well, it's my firm belief not to have firm beliefs (Discordianism yay), but if I did have one, it would be that we all get what we deserve in the end, and our abusers shall suffer as we have in a life review- and even the suffering they caused future generations when they hurt us. Heck no, I'm a Chicken Qabbalist! I don't worry about it. *doesn't actually remember much about Qabbala anymore*
Oh, wait, sorry, scratch that. The older sister thing was when I was from about 4 or so.
Reading through these threads, I seem awfully bubbly for someone that was abused every way but sexually (well, for physical, I'm counting what I refer to as "slave labor", meaning I had to do everything while those lazy female body parts watched TV, smoked, and in my sister's case, texted). Actually, this has made me realize that although I didn't get away as cleanly as I initially thought ("'didn't affect me" HAR what a joke), I got away cleaner than I assumed after coming to the realization that what did happen to me was in fact abuse. So... yay?
I know the reason I did so well considering is because of my imagination- I am a writer, and by putting myself in these false worlds where I was technically a Mary Sue, it kept me together to have someone tell me that they were wrong, even if that person was an extension of my psyche (hey, every writer has at least one imaginary friend- I keep at least one with me at all times :3). It was also inward analyzation and later it's become outward analyzation. My mother is an Antisocial Schizoid, and my sister a Narcissist. Myself, I'm expecting Obsessive Compulsive Schizoid, if I'm not Schizotypal.
As far as general life is concerned, my motto is "Don't be a stupid poowipe", which in Modern English translates out to "Don't be an ignorant hypocrite", a message I am dead set on spreading in this day and age of political, moral, and social willful ineptitude. Luckily, everyone on here seems to abide that principle. Yay! Pretty much my goals in life are to marry, have lots of kids that I do not abuse (much, my disorders will get in the way of that, but that's what explanations and "I'm sorry" is for as long as one means it), and not turn into the people I hate. And possibly be a singer/writer. Or both. Though I've thought about acting... and I have some business ideas... darn it, I'll just be a polymath and do everything. :)
I also tend to be headstrong simply because I've been taught in my life that no one is going to do anything for me or else they don't know how to do it right (and by right, I don't mean "my way", I mean "doesn't know how to do it without irreparably screwing up"), and I have to do everything. This apparently includes my mental and physical health care, as I've not found anyone yet willing to listen and investigate my claims. I don't need a "yes", I need you to test me, and if it comes up negative, great. Until then, shut up and nod. No, I don't care what your degree says; I know what I feel and you're getting paid anyways, so what does it matter? I don't pay you to stand there, Mr. Doctor Man! (Yes, they were all male.)
Eh, I think I've rambled on enough.
Edit: No I didn't. I meant to tell you I speak German, Russian, and am working on Japanese, although my German is rusty, and my Russian is understandable at best. My Japanese, well... "the phone is on the table! *stands very proudly while everyone else looks around confused as to why that's a big deal*"
Edit #2: LY. ProudLY. For want of grammar...
I have at least one personality disorder and I'm pretty sure I'm Bipolar NOS, and I know I have very mild PTSD from an incident in 08/09; very frankly, I'm ashamed to say what it is after reading these threads. ): Although you guys have me wondering if what I thought was Shame OCD is actually PTSD flashbacks, although I'm in no position to see a therapist right now, so I guess I won't know for a while.
Actually, yes I was abused as an older child into teen (about 8 or so to 17) by my older sister and mother, and I have gotten some from my grandmother, but not nearly like those two, and I can deal with that. Well, it's my firm belief not to have firm beliefs (Discordianism yay), but if I did have one, it would be that we all get what we deserve in the end, and our abusers shall suffer as we have in a life review- and even the suffering they caused future generations when they hurt us. Heck no, I'm a Chicken Qabbalist! I don't worry about it. *doesn't actually remember much about Qabbala anymore*
Oh, wait, sorry, scratch that. The older sister thing was when I was from about 4 or so.
Reading through these threads, I seem awfully bubbly for someone that was abused every way but sexually (well, for physical, I'm counting what I refer to as "slave labor", meaning I had to do everything while those lazy female body parts watched TV, smoked, and in my sister's case, texted). Actually, this has made me realize that although I didn't get away as cleanly as I initially thought ("'didn't affect me" HAR what a joke), I got away cleaner than I assumed after coming to the realization that what did happen to me was in fact abuse. So... yay?
I know the reason I did so well considering is because of my imagination- I am a writer, and by putting myself in these false worlds where I was technically a Mary Sue, it kept me together to have someone tell me that they were wrong, even if that person was an extension of my psyche (hey, every writer has at least one imaginary friend- I keep at least one with me at all times :3). It was also inward analyzation and later it's become outward analyzation. My mother is an Antisocial Schizoid, and my sister a Narcissist. Myself, I'm expecting Obsessive Compulsive Schizoid, if I'm not Schizotypal.
As far as general life is concerned, my motto is "Don't be a stupid poowipe", which in Modern English translates out to "Don't be an ignorant hypocrite", a message I am dead set on spreading in this day and age of political, moral, and social willful ineptitude. Luckily, everyone on here seems to abide that principle. Yay! Pretty much my goals in life are to marry, have lots of kids that I do not abuse (much, my disorders will get in the way of that, but that's what explanations and "I'm sorry" is for as long as one means it), and not turn into the people I hate. And possibly be a singer/writer. Or both. Though I've thought about acting... and I have some business ideas... darn it, I'll just be a polymath and do everything. :)
I also tend to be headstrong simply because I've been taught in my life that no one is going to do anything for me or else they don't know how to do it right (and by right, I don't mean "my way", I mean "doesn't know how to do it without irreparably screwing up"), and I have to do everything. This apparently includes my mental and physical health care, as I've not found anyone yet willing to listen and investigate my claims. I don't need a "yes", I need you to test me, and if it comes up negative, great. Until then, shut up and nod. No, I don't care what your degree says; I know what I feel and you're getting paid anyways, so what does it matter? I don't pay you to stand there, Mr. Doctor Man! (Yes, they were all male.)
Eh, I think I've rambled on enough.
Edit: No I didn't. I meant to tell you I speak German, Russian, and am working on Japanese, although my German is rusty, and my Russian is understandable at best. My Japanese, well... "the phone is on the table! *stands very proudly while everyone else looks around confused as to why that's a big deal*"
Edit #2: LY. ProudLY. For want of grammar...
