Sufferer Hi, Grew Up With Angry Alcoholic Parents

[robbbbbb98]

Wow I so relate to this stuff from the AA stuff, ACA, Invalidation of emotions, sensitive boy. I was just diagnosed with ptsd, I really had no idea that pstd was a part of me. It is an uncomfortable scary realization.

I have had to distance myself from my parents right now because things are so raw and I believe they are my triggers along with other things which I have yet to recognize.

I just sit here reading all these posts shaking my head because I can relate so well to what is being shared here. I don't feel alone now thank you all.

<Edited for basic grammar>

 

[woundedsoul]

Rob, Welcome to the forum. I am fairly new myself and also do not feel alone any more. I am so glad you have been able to begin to identify triggers and put in place protective barriers so that you can begin to heal. Take Care.

 

[robbbbbb98]

Thank you woundedsoul.

 

[Martin Taylor]

I would rather be sensitive than insensitive any day. I hope you view your sensitivity as an asset and not a liability..

Thank you.

<Full quote edited>

 

[LizardViolet]

woundedsoul, cognitive dissonance is when you are in a situation that pulls you in two opposite directions, where you hold two opposite beliefs or emotions at the same time or when your behavior (or the behavior of someone very close to you) is in conflict with your feelings or values. This is generally uncomfortable. Someone with ptsd may feel the need to have a high degree of control over her or his environment and daily life so there aren't surprises that might be triggers. Feeling out of control may be a symptom, and taking control is a way to handle things. Yet twelve step programs encourage participants to adopt the belief that they are not in control, that control rests with a higher power. So if you feel you need to be in control to manage your symptoms, but you're trying to accept your lack of control over your addiction, those beliefs are in opposition and can lead to discomfort that might pop out in some other way.

My bf is an alcoholic, actively drinking, and the child of an alcoholic. He also has complex ptsd. I have found some comfort in going to Al-Anon. He worked AA for a time (before I met him) but he rejects it now.

 

[Martin Taylor]

The hardest part of all of this is the realization that I may have passed my issues on to my (now grown) children.

 

[Martin Taylor]

My bf is an alcoholic, actively drinking, and the child of an alcoholic. He also has complex ptsd. I have found some comfort in going to Al-Anon. He worked AA for a time (before I met him) but he rejects it now

Please be careful.

<Quotation fixed>

 

[woundedsoul]

I do not know how to use quotes, so I screwed this message up. Will try to respond later not feeling well right now.

 

[LizardViolet]

Thanks for your concern, Martin. I try to be careful. My bf and I are not financially interdependent, and we don't live together. (I also have a husband, kid, house, job, other family, friends, etc. And yes, my husband and boyfriend know each other and know about each other.) My bf has his own rules about drinking -- only in the evening, no drinking and driving -- and I don't feel in any way in danger from him. I'm a lot more worried about him having some health crisis due to his drinking heavily for the past 10+ years (and it wouldn't be the first time).

Not trying to hijack the thread... I appreciate the perspective you all bring. I had a pretty normal and positive childhood!