Yes. That describes it to a tea. And I wish you resolution from that same guilt. At times, I still feel that same way. But since there was nothing I could have done to stop what happened to my sister, I don't feel so bad any longer. But those who were in harms way, as adults, because of me, it is going to take a while. sighFor me the problem wasn't that they died it was that I survived. Hopefully you are able to find some peace.