serendipity96
New Here
Hi all,
I just graduated from college a few months ago and I have been diagnosed with PTSD I think for 5 years now. I will choose to disclose more information about my trauma in a separate thread at some point. I don't know how y'all felt about it but when I first got my diagnosis I was relieved because my therapist at the time was in sheer denial that I had PTSD and I was both relieved and terrified. Relieved that I could now use my diagnosis to find and receive help but terrified because it felt like such a permanent title to give it. Since then, most of it has gotten better. My PTSD for both sex trafficking and childhood trauma.
Treating the sex trafficking trauma was overwhelming for a few years but honestly these days the dynamic with that part of my life feels different and doesn't inflict me with as many symptoms outside of the time of year it primarily happened and random night terrors, although I do have problems with trust and with upholding boundaries as a lasting result for now. These efforts with overcoming that trauma were definitely helped by luckily stumbling upon his sex offender registration page when I was trying to remember details about him. I felt relieved to know that someone else was able to stop him and that he had been tried (though it was short) but more importantly that the information is publicly disclosed now so it can prevent others from falling into it.
For the childhood trauma though, that one actually indirectly/directly affected the sex trafficking trauma which makes it feel more complex in tackling as I find it easy to go in circles in therapy. I've been in therapy for 11 years and only for the past 3 have I made substantial progress in using EMDR rather than just CBT. Even with this though, still sometimes circular progress. There was a huge trigger last spring for the childhood trauma and ever since then not only nightmares plagued me but just in general lacking cognitive function. I'm really proud I still graduated from University despite these difficulties though, but I wish it was easier for myself to not feel insecure about my intelligence since flashbacks and lack of sleep and other things made it really difficult to pass some classes and much of it has been forgotten. My memory of my sex trafficking trauma was originally blocked out mostly but I have some of that back, though I still don't really remember the first year and a half I spent in college and my last semester getting my high school diploma aside from big events and overall feelings immediately following that as my brain was on survival mode. I was able to do way more than I should have because I kinda shut down my feelings and was always thinking. I've spoken in general terms about my problems to a couple of trusted people in my life and they ask me how I got through it and honestly I still don't know what to tell them.
Did any of you go through this "survival mode"? If so, did it last a similar amount of time for you (2 years)?
I just graduated from college a few months ago and I have been diagnosed with PTSD I think for 5 years now. I will choose to disclose more information about my trauma in a separate thread at some point. I don't know how y'all felt about it but when I first got my diagnosis I was relieved because my therapist at the time was in sheer denial that I had PTSD and I was both relieved and terrified. Relieved that I could now use my diagnosis to find and receive help but terrified because it felt like such a permanent title to give it. Since then, most of it has gotten better. My PTSD for both sex trafficking and childhood trauma.
Treating the sex trafficking trauma was overwhelming for a few years but honestly these days the dynamic with that part of my life feels different and doesn't inflict me with as many symptoms outside of the time of year it primarily happened and random night terrors, although I do have problems with trust and with upholding boundaries as a lasting result for now. These efforts with overcoming that trauma were definitely helped by luckily stumbling upon his sex offender registration page when I was trying to remember details about him. I felt relieved to know that someone else was able to stop him and that he had been tried (though it was short) but more importantly that the information is publicly disclosed now so it can prevent others from falling into it.
For the childhood trauma though, that one actually indirectly/directly affected the sex trafficking trauma which makes it feel more complex in tackling as I find it easy to go in circles in therapy. I've been in therapy for 11 years and only for the past 3 have I made substantial progress in using EMDR rather than just CBT. Even with this though, still sometimes circular progress. There was a huge trigger last spring for the childhood trauma and ever since then not only nightmares plagued me but just in general lacking cognitive function. I'm really proud I still graduated from University despite these difficulties though, but I wish it was easier for myself to not feel insecure about my intelligence since flashbacks and lack of sleep and other things made it really difficult to pass some classes and much of it has been forgotten. My memory of my sex trafficking trauma was originally blocked out mostly but I have some of that back, though I still don't really remember the first year and a half I spent in college and my last semester getting my high school diploma aside from big events and overall feelings immediately following that as my brain was on survival mode. I was able to do way more than I should have because I kinda shut down my feelings and was always thinking. I've spoken in general terms about my problems to a couple of trusted people in my life and they ask me how I got through it and honestly I still don't know what to tell them.
Did any of you go through this "survival mode"? If so, did it last a similar amount of time for you (2 years)?