Sufferer Hi, New Here

[Wanttolive]

Hi everyone, I'm a product of an abusive childhood, and 2 abusive relationships. Mentally and physically in all. It's been 8 yrs since I was with in an abusive relationship. I don't feel comfortable with the details, I apologize.
I'm not medicated though I'm sure I should be.
I've been through 4 years of therapy with 3 different people, but no difference in the flashbacks or my inability to connect with someone else besides my husband. We have 4 children (2 are from the last abusive relationship). He's currently deployed.

I feel I don't fit in wherever we move. I miss home but also don't want to go back to live there any time soon.

I'm one year into a 2 yr nursing program. And feel completely inadequate. I keep hearing every abusers voice saying you'll never be anything.

I've tried thinking positive, I've tried meeting people, I feel like I'm a failure.

Does this ever get easier? How do you cope with your ptsd?

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi and welcome x I cope with great difficulty , I have bad days and some good days , been flashbacking since Saturday so hoping tomorrow will be better . Take things at your own pace , raise your expectations but not too high to prevent disappointment , speak to your own husband about how you feel and be really honest , I really struggled with that in the past but am much better at it now , and take each day as it comes good luck x

 

[intothelight]

@Wanttolive Welcome!

Therapy can go a long way in helping a person learn to manage symptoms and to work through the trauma. Do you have a trauma therapist?

@Namenotdiagnosis is right about there being good days and bad days, but as you progress you'll find the good far outweigh the bad. There are so many things that help different people and take your time and check them out. I had to try a variety of things before I found what worked best for me. I hope you find this site beneficial to our healing.

 

[SabrinaB]

The disconnect and shame of PTSD are some of the hardest symptoms to master. I actually just recently connected my own feelings of not fitting in to it. It comes and goes, but I also feel at times like a complete outsider, even in my neighborhood where I've lived for 10 years!

It has helped a bit just recognizing this as a symptom. The suggestion that comes to mind for you is to try some guided imagery and affirmations. Healthjourneys.com is reliable site with a great assortment that can be purchased as CDs or downloaded to computer. There's a good one on self confidence that may fit your situation.

Kudos to you for being in nursing school! Please stick with it. I'm a nurse too and it was the best move for me many years ago. Focusing on the needs of others is very therapeutic and I've learned so much about life through my career. I've been unable to work for a few years now and miss that part of me very much.

Welcome to this wonderful community!! It is truly the one place where we all belong and have a true sense of connectiveness.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Hello Wanttolive! Welcome to the forum.

 

[Chava]

Welcome! It can get easier. Glad you're reaching out for some extra support. 3 different therapists in 4 years is a lot, but I know it can be hard to find the right person or form of therapy. If you can find the right therapist for you, or what feels like a pretty good fit, it might just take a while. I feel like I'm starting to understand more about my body memories and sort of void states after a few years with the same therapist. I also have challenges connecting with others, which makes therapy difficult, and why I tend to move slowly. So if you can find someone that feels like an okay fit, or like they understand your trauma and how to proceed pretty well, try to stick with it for a while...for me that's part of the challenge...sticking around long enough to somewhat connect to a therapist. It's hard for me to get anywhere without that connection, but also hard to get connected. So, slow going, but there is progress. Are you working with someone now?

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forums!